10 Perfect Little Lies the World Told You (That Are Quietly Holding You Back)

Lie #4 –Money will solve all your problems

Image credit-Midjourney

This essay will be a hard read.

At least one of these lies will slap you in the face and feel like a cold shower at 4 AM in the middle of Antarctica with your pants around your knees wondering what the hell is happening. Good.

In moments of discomfort, a compelling future is born.

These perfect little lies weasel their way into society and we adopt them by default. Let’s challenge them. Ready? Let’s go.

Lie #1 – Being normal is perfectly fine

There’s a new breed of content online.

It’s become popular because it teaches people to think being normal is a worthy goal. That massive success is stupid, or watching Netflix all day is cool (self-care, even).

The beauty of this content is it sabotages people into giving up on their big goals so they can fit in and take it easy. The 9-5 guy on TikTok is a great example.

He preaches that 9-5 jobs are good. They’re noble. They’re great. They’re what most people do and you shouldn’t look for other opportunities. Let me define normal in case it’s not obvious.

• It’s normal to be overweight and blame genetics.

• It’s normal to eat high-sugar, high-fat junk food.

• It’s normal to take prescription medicines daily.

• It’s normal to look forward to the weekend and annual vacations.

• It’s normal to barely make love and be in a loveless relationship.

• It’s normal to record your attendance at a job in a timesheet.

• It’s normal to escape reality by watching Netflix.

• It’s normal to ask a boss to leave work early.

• It’s normal to wear an employer’s uniform.

• It’s normal to have enormous debt.

• It’s normal to have low energy.

• It’s normal to drink alcohol.

Question: do you want to be f*cking normal?

This way of life sounds like hell. It’s not much different to elementary school for children. Adults living as school kids. Great.

"Most people, even though they don’t know it, are asleep. They’re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up. 

They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence” – Anthony De Mello

Lie #2 –You’ll get lucky if you stick around long enough

There’s an obsession in society with being an expert.

In the 9-5 world and job interviews it’s all about “years of experience.” This lovefest makes people think if they just show up for long enough they’ll have earned good luck.

They think it’s a waiting game. The same is true for traditional jobs. People think if they stay in the same position at the same company for long enough, they’ll get rewarded.

This is the old way of thinking.

What I found is often the people that get promoted the fastest have been at the company the least amount of time. They typically have only a few years of experience. The reason they get ahead quickly is because they can learn fast, demonstrate a growth mindset, and they know how to get along with others.

Time in the game doesn’t equal wisdom or results.

A 16 year old can achieve mastery in 9 months at the same skill a grown adult has developed over 30+ years. How?

The Internet. An abundance of information means skill acquisition is 10x easier than before. You can fast-track results by choosing to learn from a practitioner with social proof and directly paying them for Zoom coaching.

The days of downloading 4 years of college degree information over spaced out lectures to slowly learn a basic skill are dead.

What used to take 4 years now takes 90 days for the savvy learner.

The second part to this lie is luck

Hollywood has trained us through blockbuster movies to believe that overnight success exists. You just do your thing, and at some point, you’ll get tapped on the shoulder and bag a few million dollars.

Recently a writer said she wouldn’t work with me. “If I have to keep pitching book publishers like Harry Potter’s JK Rowling did…then I will. Someone will eventually find me and see my talent.”

I burst into tears for her.

She doesn’t get how the world now works. She used what I call “lottery thinking.” It’s the idea that success is like playing the lottery. You put your name in the hat and eventually your numbers come up.

A popular writing platform promotes the same lie. They tell writers “just publish your best writing and WE’LL find you.” What they don’t say is they have three people searching for writing to elevate and tens of thousands of essays published every day.

If you do the math you’d have more chance winning the lottery. But people don’t do the math. They just hope…and go broke.

You’re not going to be chosen. You’re not going to get lucky. And you’ll die inside if you live this lie. Stop getting fooled.

Do the hard work. Seek out discomfort. Develop mastery. Become a practitioner. Build your own distribution for your ideas.

Lie #3 –Being rich and famous is a worthy goal

Getting a million TikTok or Youtube followers is a goal many people secretly have.

The idea of fame seems alluring.

Everyone knows your name. Random people shout compliments at you while you walk down the street with your poodle who’s just had his doodle chopped. It seems like the perfect life. It’s actually a perfect lie.

Fame robs you of the most precious resource there is: privacy.

My friend Dan Koe recently learned this lesson. He put a photo of his sister on Instagram. She got followed and abused in the comments. Then a crazy person found out Dan’s home address and stalked him.

Dan, a grown man with muscles bigger than Arnold Schwarzenegger in his 20s and who’s afraid of nothing, had to move house. Afraid for his life. Fame is a stupid goal. It’s how you lose your privacy and put your family at risk.

You don’t want fame deep down, you want true freedom.

Lie #4 –Money will solve all your problems

The rich life doesn’t solve problems.

I’ve found more money creates more problems. The chance of people being envious of you is higher. The chance of being robbed or blackmailed increases.

Money has its advantages, but at a certain point, it becomes detrimental. The number is different for everyone. For me, above about $1m a year in personal income makes no sense to keep trying to make more money.

I’ll say it again for the people in the back of the room: you don’t want to be a millionaire, you want more freedom. You want to wake up and do whatever you want without being told what to do.

Lie #5 –People make 7 figures online in under a year

I play in this space.

I’m in the top 1% at this skill (not to brag) and I can tell you almost no one makes 7 figures online in their first year.

The only example I can think of is fitness expert Dan Go. But he tweeted 300 times a day like a madman to achieve it, and most won’t have his work ethic or dedication.

Set 5-year goals if you want to make 7 figures online. You may do it sooner but don’t bank on it. Just do the work and learn to love the process instead of falling in love with fast online success.

Lie #6 –Somebody will come and save you

The government positions itself as your savior.

“Just vote for us and we’ve got your back.” It’s a perfect little lie and there’s not much substance to it.

Yes, you may get unemployment benefits if you lose your job, but you’ll have to jump through circus hoops and the paycheck will barely help you afford a loaf of bread. The government say what they have to say to get your vote.

But if tragedy strikes then the government’s “thoughts and prayers” vibes won’t save you. The same applies with an employer.

They pretend to care by celebrating mental health awareness week and reassuring everyone when the recession strikes or the pandem!c hits that all will be okay.

But in the end you’re a rounding error on an employer’s spreadsheet. As soon as the math for your job doesn’t work out in their favor anymore, you’re a goner. Or if they have to cut costs then no matter how good your work is, you gotta go.

There’s the illusion of a safety net, but really, all you get, is 4 weeks leave and a bunch of flowers if you’re lucky.

Nobody is coming to save you. There is no cavalry. There is no safety net. Risk is all around you - and the greatest risk of all is betting your future on someone else’s priorities and operating model.

Save yourself by betting on yourself. Own or be owned.

Lie #7 –More information is the answer to your problems

My LinkedIn feed right now is full of MBA graduates.

They’re celebrating several years of working after hours at their job to earn a piece of MBA paper they think will help them solve more problems.

They now know the history of Hershey’s chocolate and how Henry Ford made a more efficient production line.

In theory, these MBA types know more, but when it comes to wisdom learned through experience, they’ve got no further.

I once dated a woman. Real go-getter. We were a perfect match. One day she dumped me for no reason. She later married a guy who studied in the same MBA class as her. They have cute kids.

But her dream to start a business and change the world still hasn’t happened. She’s still struggling to pay bills. She still can’t go on those exotic European holidays she dreams of.

Now, I’d argue she married the wrong man! But that’s my ego talking. Where she went wrong is she fell in love with learning disguised as procrastination.

If more information was the answer we’d all be sexy models with 6-pack abs driving Lamborghinis and sipping mojitos. Even though the internet has drowned us in information, we’re still no smarter.

What we need is more execution, more experimentation. The rest of education is just ma$sturbation in disguise.

Lie #8 –Love is waiting for you. Be patient and Mr/Miss “Right” will find you.

The single life wasn’t fun for me.

I spent most of my life chasing love and never finding it. I’d go on all these dating apps. I’d hack the algorithm with the best bio and photo. I’d go on many dates every day. Some days I had dates before work, during my lunch break, and after work.

It was exhausting.

I used to complain to my good friend Sia. She was also single. We loved to blame the opposite sex. We loved to say “Miss Right will walk through the door. We can’t force this.” I later learned it was all a lie.

She’s still single 5 years on. She is now too old to have kids even though she desperately wants them. There’s no going back.

What changed for me was this big idea:

Become the person you want to marry. 

The dating apps or beauty standards aren’t to blame. You are. The opposite s*x is attracted to people who’ve got their sh*t together.

If you’re an adult baby in diapers and can’t do your own dishes, as harsh as it sounds, no good partner is coming to save you.

The way to find love is to change yourself. Then you’ll attract so many potential partners, Hugh Hefner will be turning in his grave.

Lie #9 –“There’s a right time to do this”

Putting your goals off to the future feels smart.

You can blame future you. You can place the burden of success on a future person that doesn’t exist and let your present self off the hook.

The lie is that timing matters. That the timing will one day be right. That “someday” is a worthy excuse for not chasing a goal today.

Dan Koe explains the problem:

If you don't create a goal, society will assign you one. If you don't create a purpose, society will give you one.

If a goal is real then it must be done and worked on today. Otherwise, it’s a p*rn fantasy you get off to in order to get the drug of cheap dopamine. Make no mistake: you have a goal. The question is whether it’s yours or one attached to society’s KPIs.

Lie #10 –It’s good to be skeptical. It’s a sign of high IQ.

Skepticism seems smart because it makes you think you’re diligent. That you’re not easily fooled by fake gurus. This is such a perfect lie.

Beliefs that make us feel smart are often the most manipulative.

The world DOES contain bad actors and there are scams, for sure. But 90% of the world is good and most people won’t rip you off or take advantage of you. Too much skepticism is a sign of a deeper problem, as Tim Ferriss puts it:

"Don’t use skepticism as a thinly veiled excuse for inaction or remaining in your comfort zone. Be skeptical, but for the right reason: because you’re looking for the most promising option to test in real life. Be proactively skeptical, not defensively skeptical.”

Ooooooo that one hurts. It makes my heart bleed.

Skepticism is just another way we stay trapped in our comfort zone and remain in indecision and held back by decision fatigue and overthinking.

It’s better to experiment. It’s better to take a risk and experience failure and rejection than it is to do the opposite and experience zero growth.

The ideas you’re afraid of are the ones you need to consider the most.

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