A Japanese Ikigai is Bullsh*t And Won't Help You Figure Out Your Life
Ignore the self-help gurus
Japanese people are cool.
But their advice for figuring out your life is to use an “Ikigai.” And it’s total b*llshit. Like, it just doesn’t freaking work.
An Ikigai is “a Japanese concept referring to something that gives a person a sense of purpose, a reason for living.”
Normal people have tried to use this strategy to figure out their lives and what they want to do for work. Or to find their #OneTrueCalling or purpose.
For a while, I left the Ikigai advice alone even though I disagreed with it.
Then 2 years ago every guru and influencer online started spreading Ikigai like it was the gospel and they, too, were Japanese buddhas from 100s of years ago. It’s a dumpster fire.
It really pissed me off.
Ikigai doesn’t work.
The world’s most painful venn diagram
This is a modern Ikigai:
That ladies and gentlemen is going to help you figure out your life! All your problems are now solved. Send me $100 and let’s go have a party and take our tops off.
What’s wrong with an Ikigai? Everything.
An Ikigai is a way to add unnecessary complexity to your life. By trying to find some perfect solution wrapped in a bow and labelled Ikigai, you’ve effectively signed up for a migraine and decades of your life chasing something that doesn’t exist.
You’ll try to do everything and end up doing nothing if you adopt the Ikigai.
My wild story with Ikigai
14 years ago, I was lost in life and had severe mental illness.
I’d wake up every day and not know why I existed. I hated living. I had the worst job in the world. My family pissed me off. And I knew I didn’t want to work in a call center forever.
Then I stumbled across an Ikigai in a Ted Talk of all places. I remember feeling orga$mic. I felt like I’d found the secret to life. I showed everyone the Ikigai venn diagram and they always looked at me confused (red flag).
I tried to create my own Ikigai and use it to decide what I was going to do with my life. What do I love? What will people pay me for? What also gives me meaning? How do I add banking into the mix? Could I throw my hobbies in as well? Am I good at all these things? And does the world need what I have to offer?
I spent years trying to figure all of this out. One minute I didn’t have the talent. The next minute I didn’t think the world needed what Tim Denning had to offer.
Those were some miserable years.
By accident I found online writing through an unlikely mentor named Joel. He suggested I try it. He shot me a video telling me how to do it. I blindly followed his advice because I had nothing else.
The first week I did it, it felt like work. I’d interview startup founders, turn it into a blog post, and publish them on Joel’s website. One night I ventured off into self-improvement land and wrote a personal story about me.
It went mega viral. 84,000 shares on Facebook alone.
I became absolutely obsessed. For the next few years I did nothing else. And today I’m still obsessed with writing and can’t think about anything else. I was thinking about this essay last night as I was trying to sleep.
But the magical Ikigai didn’t help me find it.
“I increasingly think there’s intense cruelty to shilling self-care as the solution for people who are clearly craving purpose.” - Molly Mielke
It’s not just me who wants to burn every Ikigai to the ground
I run an academy with 6000+ students.
For the last 5 years I’ve seen Ikigai be a constant roadblock for them. They try to implement an Ikigai and end up frustrated. Not one student has ever managed to implement it successfully. Not one.
Most of the time the Ikigai is a fantasy that delays them from taking action.
If they buy into the Ikigai methodology too much, they start to become all woo-woo and law-of-attraction-y and wait for the perfect moment, purpose, or idea to fall on their lap and kiss them on the tits while shouting “thank you almighty one for this gift… I now have purpose. Let’s make love.”
None of my students have magically found their Ikigai. That’s no accident. This is the result because an Ikigai is bullsh*t. It’s a layer of complexity that won’t help you and will waste years of your life.
The big lie about Ikigais that no one is talking about
Writer Dave Kang opened my eyes to the myth of Ikigai.
He says Ikigai started out as 8 general principles. Some Spanish astrologist dude turned those principles into a venn diagram and tried to pass it off as ancient Japanese wisdom.
There’s no magical center of the Ikigai venn diagram. All 8 Ikigai principles are meant to be standalone. So next time you see some influencer flogger preaching the Ikigai venn diagram, send them this article and tell them where they can shove this myth.
The simple solution to find a purpose for your life, get paid, and “do what you love”
Ya’ll ready?
Follow your curiosity first like I did with writing. See where it leads. At some point this curiosity will turn into obsession if you put in the work and stay true to the path.
Most people already have an obsession but they just don’t know it. If you look at their google search history or go out to dinner with them, it’s obvious.
The problem is most people have an obsession but ignore it because:
It’s not grandiose enough
They don’t think it can make money
They don’t think the audience is big enough
They haven’t put enough hours in to see where it can take them
These challenges are more psychological as opposed to a lack of knowledge or talent.
Execution tells you more than sitting in a dark room and ma$turbating over the meaning of life while trying to act from a place of no data.
Execution gives you data. Living life gives you data.
“You will love whatever you pour your heart into. Passion follows commitment.” – James Clear
People need to live more, take risks, and experiment to figure out their life. Not look for ancient Japanese wisdom and get kissed on the butt by an Ikigai fairy in the middle of the night while naked in silk satin sheets.
Advice I once got as a writer: if you want to write interesting stuff then actually go live life. This applies to finding your obsession and doing what you love, too.
Mistakes and failures are a gift. Make them with a smile. Hit rock bottom. Feel like a loser. Lose everything. Become a psychopath. Stage a comeback. Outperform who you were a year ago… and watch all of this change your life in unexpected ways.
Obsession destroys the idea of Ikigai. Chase obsession.
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@Tim Denning - You say tomato and I say red apple. The "Spanish astologer dude" says venn diagram and you say get paid for what you love. I say build self-efficacy in the space that is your wellbeing.
I love you sharing your stories on all things Tim Denning :)
My experience with Ikigai has been quite the opposite journey. Was/is it a fad? 💯. Do I use it? 💯. Do I teach people how to actually apply it to where it’s not some ephemeral bullshit? 💯
Your writing is brilliant as always.