Breakups have been good for me. The first serious breakup made me change my career. The second serious breakup made me think of a way to get new emotions. So I went to Antarctica for two weeks.
I don't wish anyone breakups but if they happen, make the most of them.
Yes thankyou for reminding us that breakups aren't just about love... Breakups from relationships, work, living situations, friends, family all take place and can be a catalyst to transform and move in a whole new direction!
Tim, your article is a gut check! I have been writing online and my life is changing. I am about to become more obsessed 🚀
Thanks for bringing us along with you. Sometimes serendipity opens a door for you and you can go through it or not. So glad I chose to go through the door and that's where writing found me, when I didn't know I was lost.
Not gonna fall for the next person who comforts you to replace the hurtful one that just left.
Not gonna take the first next dead -end job because you’re too freaking terrified not to.
Not gonna cling to that other fake friend who’s not gonna be your bestie either once you realize your BFF is a Backstabbin, F—-ing, Fiend.
Not gonna run home to momma cuz she’ll bake you cookies and tell you everything’s gonna be OK.
Not gonna become a recluse. When you lock everyone out, you lock yourself in.
Because at the end of this ride we all take those last steps alone.
You can do so terrified, looking for someone or thing to cling to, filled with a lifetime of regrets, all the woulda,shoulda, couldas filling you with a crushing sadness at all that could have been, and desperately wishing you could go back and do it all over, as you reach out to cling to the life that could have been.
or
you can take that last breath as your own best friend, knowing you did decide to do it for you, your way, falling on your face cuz you had the guts to reach for the impossible things you wanted, clawing your way back up again and doing it over and over so at the end of the day you are ready to say, “Game over, what’s next?” and with no regrets say, “I wouldn’t have done a thing differently!
I never thought of break-ups as good before. Thank you for reframing it as something positive.
I think it will help people going through break-ups.
Also, the idea that break-ups needn't just be the romantic kind is great.
Instead of treating break-ups, lay-offs etc. as totally different things, it might be easier to consider them all as different kinds of break-ups and see if there's a unifying approach to deal with them all.
Break ups have been good for me. I ended a marriage of 24 years and finally realized what I felt was him holding me back was me giving into my fear of living a full life. It wasn’t easy for a few years, but the pain was well worth it. Now I travel like I always wanted to do and realize that whomever comes into my life needs to be in full alignment with my vision of it.
Currently in Mexico, spent 3 months in Central America last year, and the year prior I was in India, Peru and Croatia. I will be going to Spain, Portugal and Morocco come November, and that’s as far as I can see for now!! Hopefully Australia and New Zealand next year as I do have a lot of friends there!!
Coaching and consulting for nurses (new grads, experienced RNs transitioning into womens & childrens service line, travel nursing) and also perinatal moms needing guidance and support for whatever scenario they want for their pregnancy & labor and delivery experience
I had a break-up that crippled me emotionally and physically, in literal ways. It left me in a pit so dark and detrimental. It caused a sudden and violent volcanic eruption of buried pain, thought and feelings, and a lot of self-loathing, which affected me for years after it. I almost didn't recover, but I did. I faced every demon, I challenged every thought, and I somehow clawed my way out of the pit. That break-up was a necessary volcano, because it (eventually) encouraged me to break away from everything in the past that was harming me without me consciously knowing, to pursue myself, and to support myself whether I have other options or not
We all have them. We dread them but they are the impetus we need in order to change and start moving in the right direction. From a horrendous divorce to ditching my career, I’ve had some doozies. Despite the pain, it’s always been a good move in the end.
So again, it's proof that bad turns eventually turn to the right. They give us the fire we thought we never could make. Adversity or breakups always prove better for one who's not ready to give up and give in.
Breakups have been good for me. The first serious breakup made me change my career. The second serious breakup made me think of a way to get new emotions. So I went to Antarctica for two weeks.
I don't wish anyone breakups but if they happen, make the most of them.
Wow. What did you do in Antartica?
Sailed around the Antarctic Peninsula for 12 days as a tourist.
Yes thankyou for reminding us that breakups aren't just about love... Breakups from relationships, work, living situations, friends, family all take place and can be a catalyst to transform and move in a whole new direction!
It's a reminder I forget all the time.
Tim, your article is a gut check! I have been writing online and my life is changing. I am about to become more obsessed 🚀
Thanks for bringing us along with you. Sometimes serendipity opens a door for you and you can go through it or not. So glad I chose to go through the door and that's where writing found me, when I didn't know I was lost.
It's weird how we don't know when we'e lost isn't it?
So weird
Well said, Janet 🧡🚀
Thanks Sol 🧡 🚀
Just say NO.
Not gonna fall for the next person who comforts you to replace the hurtful one that just left.
Not gonna take the first next dead -end job because you’re too freaking terrified not to.
Not gonna cling to that other fake friend who’s not gonna be your bestie either once you realize your BFF is a Backstabbin, F—-ing, Fiend.
Not gonna run home to momma cuz she’ll bake you cookies and tell you everything’s gonna be OK.
Not gonna become a recluse. When you lock everyone out, you lock yourself in.
Because at the end of this ride we all take those last steps alone.
You can do so terrified, looking for someone or thing to cling to, filled with a lifetime of regrets, all the woulda,shoulda, couldas filling you with a crushing sadness at all that could have been, and desperately wishing you could go back and do it all over, as you reach out to cling to the life that could have been.
or
you can take that last breath as your own best friend, knowing you did decide to do it for you, your way, falling on your face cuz you had the guts to reach for the impossible things you wanted, clawing your way back up again and doing it over and over so at the end of the day you are ready to say, “Game over, what’s next?” and with no regrets say, “I wouldn’t have done a thing differently!
Your choice.
One of the best comments on this piece. Thank you.
Thanks!
“Obsession forces you to seek solitude” - I’m stealing this!!!
Steal away
Appreciate the content and the courses
I never thought of break-ups as good before. Thank you for reframing it as something positive.
I think it will help people going through break-ups.
Also, the idea that break-ups needn't just be the romantic kind is great.
Instead of treating break-ups, lay-offs etc. as totally different things, it might be easier to consider them all as different kinds of break-ups and see if there's a unifying approach to deal with them all.
Every negative is a positive with the right mindset.
Break ups have been good for me. I ended a marriage of 24 years and finally realized what I felt was him holding me back was me giving into my fear of living a full life. It wasn’t easy for a few years, but the pain was well worth it. Now I travel like I always wanted to do and realize that whomever comes into my life needs to be in full alignment with my vision of it.
Congrats. Where do you travel to?
Currently in Mexico, spent 3 months in Central America last year, and the year prior I was in India, Peru and Croatia. I will be going to Spain, Portugal and Morocco come November, and that’s as far as I can see for now!! Hopefully Australia and New Zealand next year as I do have a lot of friends there!!
Oh my god I just wrote about this in a post yesterday! Haha my breakup also started my online business and love for Journaling and myself!
So cool Ashley. What's your online business?
Coaching and consulting for nurses (new grads, experienced RNs transitioning into womens & childrens service line, travel nursing) and also perinatal moms needing guidance and support for whatever scenario they want for their pregnancy & labor and delivery experience
I had a break-up that crippled me emotionally and physically, in literal ways. It left me in a pit so dark and detrimental. It caused a sudden and violent volcanic eruption of buried pain, thought and feelings, and a lot of self-loathing, which affected me for years after it. I almost didn't recover, but I did. I faced every demon, I challenged every thought, and I somehow clawed my way out of the pit. That break-up was a necessary volcano, because it (eventually) encouraged me to break away from everything in the past that was harming me without me consciously knowing, to pursue myself, and to support myself whether I have other options or not
Love the idea of a breakup being a volcano.
It's even better not to go into a relationship as soon as possible. But to wait until you've improved and worked on yourself.
Too many times I see my friends in high school with girlfriends or boyfriends but it's obvious it'll never work out.
I'll stick with the idea of working on myself, discovering my true obsession, and becoming wildly successful before I think about a relationship.
Thanks Denning.
I will use my mind as a weapon and carve out a path in this difficult world.
——Little Women(written by Louisa May Alcott)
Love thus quote!
People who smile often tend to have better luck. Smile itself is a priming effect.
——Thinking, Fast and Slow (written by Daniel Kahneman)
Mine was paradigm shift. Infact, within a month after break up, i fought for a life with Covid.
All those days in hospital bed changed my outlook on life, career and family changed completely.
I have never been better before!
Powerful!
Breakup equals freedom.
Hell yes
We all have them. We dread them but they are the impetus we need in order to change and start moving in the right direction. From a horrendous divorce to ditching my career, I’ve had some doozies. Despite the pain, it’s always been a good move in the end.
So again, it's proof that bad turns eventually turn to the right. They give us the fire we thought we never could make. Adversity or breakups always prove better for one who's not ready to give up and give in.
Divorcing an abusive man propelled me into a better life and a renewed passion for writing, which feeds my soul.