All You Need Is a Bad Breakup to Discover Your True Obsession and Become Wildly Successful

Breakups come in many outrageous forms

Image Credit: Midjourney

She threw me out of the car in the middle of the road.

Pouring with rain. Tears pouring down my face. A car nearly hit me at 75 miles an hour. It felt scary. It felt overwhelming.

Our 4-year relationship ended in an instant. We never spoke to each other again. The future marriage ceremony by the lake, lit on fire. The unborn baby we could have had, dead. Both of them.

It felt like the worst day of my life.

My identity was tied to her. We did everything together. She was my best friend. My only friend at the time, if I’m being honest. Everyone at work knew us as the two bankers who met and fell in love.

Now what would I tell them?

I’m not sure why we broke up. It was a feeling. I had dreams of wild success. She wanted to settle down. I wanted to stay in Melbourne and she wanted to go overseas every weekend (one trip we did was 48 hours in Asia … who does that?).

Jumping on planes was exhausting. She was doing it to escape. I didn’t want to escape. I wanted to double down on my writing and be near family.

Two different people, worlds apart.

The post breakup phase is incredible

Once the nail was in our relationship coffin everything changed.

I became a psychopath.

People didn’t recognize me. My true obsession for writing came alive. I launched a newsletter. I wrote more. I built an online business.

I stopped living for a partner and started living for me. I built a new life. One that didn’t have to meet another person’s standards. One where I could tell my bank boss to stick his job where the sun don’t shine.

When we were together I couldn’t quit banking. It was a couple’s activity. We caught the train together. We went to the same work events. We were always together which was 99% of the problem.

Obsession forces you to seek solitude.

You can’t do great things if you have a needy lover handcuffed to your leg begging you to “spend time with me, baby” every 5 seconds. Obsession changes how you do love.

Breakups come in many outrageous forms

The title of this story makes you think it’s all about love.

Breakups aren’t exclusive to a lover though. You can have a bad breakup with a boss, job, hobby, family member (even parent), or best friend.

I had a bad breakup with a boss in 2019. I worked with this guy in banking. He was cool. We ate steaks together. We swore a lot and sipped lattes every few days.

When I quit banking I got a new job. The role had no boss and they were hiring. I recommended this mofo for the job and he got it thanks to my endorsement. Shortly after I figured out he was the devil, worse than Hitler.

Then he fired me.

A friend no more. Traitor. It hurt bad. It took me many buckets of tears and 6 months to recover. The nice end to the story is he got fired, too, and ended up in a sh*tty job in the middle of butt-f*ck nowhere. So karma’s a b*tch, as they say.

This boss breakup changed my life.

I stopped trusting employers. I went harder on my side hustle. I got a new job but I was relentless. I said no to many boss requests. I had this carefree attitude that’d terrify most business leaders.

The bags under my eyes and the look in my pupils screamed “I’m here for 5 seconds then I’m gonna love ya and leave ya for my writing obsession.”

People I worked with knew my agenda. They didn’t care. Neither did I.

My side hustle was no longer a nice option. It was make-it-happen or death. No in-between. No piss-farting around. Pure relentlessness that’d rip your face off.

A breakup feels outrageous. And rage is what you need to get to the next level of life and do something you’ll be proud of.

Orchestrate a breakup

There’s something in your life you need to break up with.

A boss, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, a lover/spouse, bad parent, or 7-day-a-week job from hell. This story means nothing if you don’t take action.

I freaking dare you to break up with the thing you know is no good for you. I dare you to feel the fear and do it anyway. Obsession is found on the other side of breakups.

You need a catalyst to spark change. Change leads to transformation. And a good transformation needs obsession to give it rocket fuel to move forward.

When something feels like a horrible ending, it’s usually the seed of a new beginning. Only when we fall down hard and smack our face on the gutter, do we wake up and realize we’re living a groundhog day life that ends in boredom and regrets.

Wake up. Go have a break up.

Tell me if breakups have been good for you and why in the comments below.

---

P.S. Whether you're heartbroken or not, a great place to put your energy is...

Posting daily online. 

Have you started writing daily yet? Thinking about it? 

Take the "gut check" quiz here.