Disappear from Public Life so You Can Build Something Online with Zero Fear
Being invisible is the key to greatness.
Building something online is life-changing.
So why don’t people do it? Are they stupid? No. We’re full of fear. We’re worried if we do anything online then our boss, family, friends, or employer might see it.
And if they see it they will be mad. Or our employer will fire us for breaking their social media policy that we never read. Or if we fail then everyone will laugh at us and we’ll be unemployable.
These fears 100% exist. I have 6000+ students who’ve gone through my academy. Almost every one of them starts with this fear.
There are two solutions:
Say “f*ck you fear” and ignore it
Disappear from public life
Here’s how to do #2.
Being in the public spotlight is a nightmare
Avicii was one of the greatest music acts ever to live.
When his first hit song came out it stunned me. I spent my 20s as a DJ and signed to a sub label of Sony, where I released dozens of electronic music tracks.
The complexity of Avicii’s musical arrangements and the killer vocals he recorded over the top blew my mind. It was pure ear candy (like musical heroin). It reignited hope in me that perhaps I could revive my failed DJ career and become like him.
What started as dance music turned into folk music with a dance beat. Avicii figured out timeless music was 10x more powerful than disposable dance music. With every song he released he became more famous.
The record labels worked him harder than a full-time hooker.
They wanted him to release songs every few months. Then his manager wanted him to do tours and play massive arenas. He amassed millions of dollars and bought a mansion and fancy car in the process.
The problem was Avicii was an introvert.
To deal with the anxiety he became more spiritual. He went on “finding himself” tours of the jungle and all the way to quiet deserts.
On one trip, probably to India, he discovered transcendental meditation.
This helped him stay calm. But around the same time he started doing drugs to numb the pain and get him in the zone for DJing. The drugs probably got harder and harder.
There’s some speculation he took the psychedelic, ayahuasca, on one of his trips which completely rewired his brain for the worse.
At the peak of his fame, aged 28, Avicii went to Oman. Then one night he cut himself repeatedly with a broken wine bottle and died of blood loss.
This story illustrates why the public spotlight is so bad.
It’s hard to handle too much attention. Extreme work pressures lead us to seek out pain relief. And fame can attract the wrong types of friends who introduce drugs into your life. If you resist drugs, smart drug addicts will spike your drink. Can’t win.
Most of us aren’t built for public life. And we don’t need it.
This strategy is so simple it’ll piss you off
About a year ago I figured out an unusual solution.
If you want to build something online – business, movement, fans – you can just use a nickname. For example, my real name is Tim Denning.
If I were to start over, I’d make my online name Tim Smith. It still sounds like my real name but it isn’t. A great example is my friend Dan Koe who has a massive social media following.
His real name isn’t Dan Koe. His first name is Dan and his last name is made up.
Using a nickname isn’t new. The problem is people go from their birth name to a nickname that makes them sound like a video game NPC (Non-Player Character).
They’ll choose a nickname like “The Real Estate Guy” and use a profile photo of a cartoon character. This means people don’t take them seriously, and honestly, it makes them look and feel like a meme.
People who use this bad approach to conceal their identity find it hard to build a following and make money. Why?
People follow people. People buy from people. And we buy from people we trust.
A profile picture of a monkey smoking a cigar and a child’s Batman game nickname doesn’t make you look human.
In this new world of AI, looking human is more important than ever. If we’re not sure you’re human, we’ll assume you’re created by AI.
It pays to use a nickname that looks like a name you’re born with, and use a real photo of yourself.
The spectacular peace of mind that comes with disappearing from public life
When you take the Dan Koe approach and disappear from public life, it’s a beautiful way to live.
People can’t google you
Friends and family will leave you alone
Employers can’t legally do anything about what you post
And bosses will have no idea what online side hustles you’re building after hours
But wait, there’s more…
Using a nickname frees you from the golden handcuffs of credentials & your work experience. If you’re a doctor or lawyer, the risk of giving advice that can get you sued likely goes away. Also, if you’re like me, your tendency to ask for permission will vanish as well.
A nickname online is how you exit the old world and enter the new world.
You become a badass.
You act permissionlessly.
You don’t give a f*ck what anyone thinks.
You share contrarian or controversial thoughts.
Take this strategy to the next level and watch it change your life
The strategy above can also be called an alter ego. Singer Beyonce famously had one named Sasha Fire.
By having this split personality, you can separate yourself from who you are in real life. It eliminates anxiety, changes you from introvert to extrovert, gets rid of insecurities, and removes imposter syndrome.
I’ve used this alter ego strategy for years.
The truth is I’m a little b*tch. If I see a tiny spider in my house I scream louder than my 2 year old daughter. I take forever to make decisions and overthink every little financial expenditure until it haunts me in my sleep.
Every night I have nightmares of different events from my teenage years. I screwed up high school and mixed with hardened criminals and drug dealers. Even though I escaped this silly life, my nightmares don’t let me off the hook. They’re payback for all the bad things I did in my youth. And I deserve it.
The way I overcome all of my defects is with an alter ego.
When I go online I become someone different. I see myself as the protagonist in a Netflix TV show at the top of the streaming charts. I embody who I want to be. The more I do it, bizarrely, the more I become that person.
Five ways to develop your fearless alter ego
(Hat tilt Matt Schnuck)
1. Envision the Character
Focus on who you would be if there were no limitations. How would you act? What would you say? What would you believe? How would you see the world? What TV shows would you watch? What would your profession be?
2. Find the Name
Choose a name for your alter ego that nobody else knows. Keep it quiet. Every time you need to show up online call yourself by this new name. Think to yourself, “What would <nickname> do?”
3. Source the Trigger
Choose an event(s) when this alter ego will come out. For me, it’s any time I publish anything on the internet. For Beyonce, it’s when she put’s on her high heels.
4. Develop the Physicality
How would you stand? Would you talk fast or slow? Would you be loud or quiet? What would you wear? What vocabulary would you use? How would your posture change?
5. Practice
Now go out into the world and practice using your alter ego in places where there are no repercussions. Or use it when you post online to test it out.
The best times to use an alter ego
When writing
Public speaking
At a job interview
When going on a first date
When selling to a customer
Anything where you feel fear/nerves
I’m afraid of needles. Whenever I need to have a blood test or get an immunization shot, I bring out my alter ego.
I used to see a needle and pass out (no joke).
At the end of last year I had an anesthetic and looked right at the needle and smiled. I felt nothing. I used my alter ego to change my physicality and act like Arnold Schwarzenegger, instead of the pussy cat I really am inside of hospitals.
Bringing it all together
If you want to build something incredible online, use a nickname. If you want to go to the next level, use a nickname combined with an alter ego.
Sometimes, who you used to be just holds you back.
A new name equals a fresh start. And when you realize nobody is paying attention, you can just build your movement without worrying about what daddy thinks.
The truth is nobody cares what you’re doing until you’re wildly successful. But since the brain loves hijacking our success and imposter syndrome is more common than catching a cold, use a nickname and watch it change your life.
Then when you’re successful enough and have F U money, change your nickname online back to your birth name. Remember: forget ever being famous. Aim to be wealthy and free.
Let me know in the comments if you agree with using a nickname and why.
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I'm a bit confused... use a nickname but a real photo of yourself? Love the nickname idea, but a real(ish) photo gives you away still? Or did I miss something 🤔
It's probably late to start using a nickname given that I've been writing for 2+ years under my real name. Anyway, I don't see why I'd do that. But thanks for the advice. Let it be an option I could benefit from in the future if need be.