Set a Bar so High Average People Think You're a Psychopath
“Your potential is determined by how much uncertainty you're willing to embrace”
He sat in the middle of the road in a puddle of vomit.
Luckily, cars dodged his lifeless body. We were outside of a strip club. When he finally got up he wanted more vodka. We were cooked. The walls started to look like they were caving in. Any advances he made toward the opposite s*x were rejected.
I tried to stay married to his average way of life. He was my best friend. During some years he was my only friend.
On our final night together we went to his friend’s house. I was assured of a good time. We watched some American Idol. Nothing too serious. Then the alcohol came out. Then the coke came out. 2 hours later a lady friend knocked on the door.
She was a stripper.
Soon she was naked practicing her dance routine on all the boys. I felt disgusting. The next day the owner of the house’s Audi out front was gone. A drug dealer stole it for not paying debts. His mother paid for the car. She was devastated.
The slippery slope of being average can lead to dark f*cking places.
From that day on I divorced my best friend. I raised the bar so high in my life that I had no friends for more than 2 years. I started again.
Former friends thought I was a psychopath. Sometimes they still send me DJ videos on Facebook. They don’t understand that I’m not a DJ anymore, and will never go to a nightclub again or ever drink alcohol.
If you want to be successful, it’s good for average people to call you a psychopath.
"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago" – Alan Watts
“Your potential is determined by how much uncertainty you're willing to embrace”
(Dan Koe)
Why don’t people raise their standards?
Because it’s full of uncertainty. It’s easier and more comfortable to fit in and get told what to do. Being average is the default path.
You don’t have to think twice. No one is gonna protest because of your decision. In fact, being average carries no decision. It’s a life of indecision, maybes, somedays, and unknown regrets.
We so-called psychopaths take risks.
Not blind risks. Not stupid decisions. But calculated and data-backed risks that seem crazy to the outside world. Living like this requires you to have a good relationship with uncertainty.
You’re fine not to know the outcome. You get used to entropy running your emotions. You crave a bit of luck and scenarios you could never have predicted.
Insisting on having a plan and knowing the outcome upfront is the fastest way to the land of ruin.
“You have one life. Don’t settle for mediocrity.” – Naval Ravikant
Being above average becomes a weird religion
“You must understand the following: In order to master a field, you must love the subject and feel a profound connection to it. Your interest must transcend the field itself and border on the religious” – Robert Greene
The best things in life are a religion.
I bought a Tesla last week because I needed a new car. People have already called me an Elon Musk groupie. I only bought the car because it’s the safest one on the planet to transport my 1 year old daughter.
Soon as I started looking at some accessories, I found out Tesla is a religion. When you buy this car you worship software and minimalism. More bizarrely, you worship the future of the planet. One run by robots and AI. You’re optimistic by nature.
Being above average is a religion too.
Whatever your obsession is you have to practice it like a form of religion. You’ll likely be in a cult of others who have the same obsession.
A religion is spiritual. It transcends the act of doing. There’s a deeper why. A meaning behind it. The religion is connected to the universe.
What you do creates tiny ripples that may create tidal waves later in history.
Some people hate religion. They think worshipping a god is stupid. Not me. I’m not part of any church, but I do see the benefits of how religion works.
No one can convince a religious person that another way of living exists or there is no god. When you apply that mindset to an obsession it’s a powerful cocktail. Every time I sit down to write I have a religious experience.
It feels like I’m channeling a level of inspiration that can wake people up, and help them escape the hell of the rat race.
Perhaps I’m delusional. Or insane.
Single-minded selfishness that’ll light your ass on fire and make people cheer
Acts of obsession start out as selfish.
Over time, though, they turn into acts of selflessness. But if you never use selfishness to cross the threshold of effort needed to gain traction, nothing will ever happen.
Naval Ravikant says:
“Replace all desires with a single desire.”This is what obsession is. There’s no to-do list. No having multiple goals. No multi-interests. The entire approach is psychopathic. Like a murderer who decides to kill the president and stops at nothing until the job is done. They think about and do nothing else. They may even get shot themselves in the process.
Having more than one thing is how you become nothing. Your job is to keep the main thing the main thing so you never do anything else.
“Be so good they call you fake”
(Max Baudasch)
On the path to being a psychopath people have called me all sorts of things. They love to say I’m fake or that this Substack is written by AI.
Average people set the bar low so when they get rejected or criticized, they curl up into a ball and eat Oreos. A psychopath following their obsession is different.
They expect to be called fake. They hope they attract critics.
When you put ideas out into the world some people will disagree. That’s mother nature at work. What’s dangerous is when you DON’T put ideas into the world. That means you’re a slave to other people’s ideas. You’re confirming like a good little sheep.
When you conform no one will disagree. But also, no one will give you opportunities. You’ll have to apply for them, and even then, it’ll be like playing the lottery.
When I was a tech recruiter I noticed high performers came to job interviews with one or two big ideas. They were deep thinkers. They offered something hiring managers couldn’t resist.
Let critics call you fake because it’s better than being normal.
Adopt solitary habits
Solitary confinement in prison is often described as a blessing by inmates.
Prisoners get thrown in the hole and come out different people. They have a lot of time to think. They realize no one cares if they win or lose. It’s rock bottom.
Only at rock bottom do you find real answers to the big problems in your life.
I’ve never cried harder than when I got my social media job taken away. It hurt worse than seeing my best friend get stabbed (almost to death) outside a shopping center. Don’t worry, I got beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat.
Ash Jogalekar says we should have solitary habits:
Reading is a solitary hobby.
Long-distance running is a solitary hobby.
Science - to some extent - is a solitary hobby.Solitary hobbies provide you with a retreat from personal tragedies and the tragedies of the world.
The best solitary habit I’ve found is writing. It’s a place where I can think and have ideas while doing it.
We’re taught to always be around other people. But too much socializing is often a distraction and a form of procrastination.
Insecure people need company all the time.
Successful people are confident to go it alone.
Raise your standards and accept more alone time. That’s where your obsession is built and psychopath mode is turned on.
One day you’ll laugh at your old life
My friend Michael Thompson has two wild kids.
He used to be a banker like me. Now he’s a storyteller and shows others how to master the craft. Recently he moved house. His kids found his box of ties from work. They tied the ties together and made a skipping rope out of them.
Each day he looks out the kitchen window and sees them skipping over his ties. It’s a constant reminder of his old life that he now laughs at.
It’s the same in my life. My daughter found my ties hanging in the wardrobe. They’re full of dust and haven’t been worn for years. Yesterday I caught her wiping her nose on my bright pink tie. It made me smile.
I don’t miss my old life of asking for permission and being told what to do. Or sitting down in an office chair googling random stuff online to burn time until it’s home time.
How to have the mindset of an obsessed psychopath
Be willing to go broke. Because you can always make the money back again. Protecting the little you have is how you never become wealthy.
Raise your standards for the people you let into your life. No losers. No lovers of politics. No one who watches the news daily.
Piss on the idea of “balance” and embrace imbalance. Love the chaos. Thrive in it. Choose it.
Choose one goal and work on it for 10 years while doing 10,000 iterations.
Work on an obsession that 99% of people don’t understand.
Spend more time alone while you build your dream.
Face uncertainty with a smile.
Never choose “realistic” ever again.
Work for 4 hours a day in a flow state.
Turn your obsession into financial wealth.
Expect to be overwhelmed and celebrate it.
Progress from a job to your own business.
Dare to work after hours and on weekends.
Enjoy being the dumbest person in the room.
Stop asking for permission and just do it.
Refuse to ever go back to university.
Come up with delusional ideas.
Turn anger into inspiration.
Set goals that seem crazy.
Prove people wrong.
Obsession looks like madness to the untrained mind. Good. Ambition isn’t a mental disorder. Being mediocre is.
Tell me which of these ideas you loved the most and why in the comments.
P.S. When you’re ready to join others who set insanely high bars, book your seat to The Fearless Writer Challenge.
Only catch — we start very soon.
This arrived in divine timing , I just begun writing 5000 goals to achieve in 30 years haha as recommended by the creator of the secret and everyone already thinks I’m nuts lol now I know I’m on the right path, thanks Tim , brilliant writing as always , off I skip into the night to continue being a psychopath lol !!!
Tim I am curious, you have escaped the rat race and "made it" as a writer now. What did you write out before that was true?