I'm a financial coach, a mom, a grandma, a "student of the world". In my mid-50s, I am coming to the conclusion that one's perception of agency is 90% of how they react to their world.
Some people speak up for themselves, some don't. It starts when people are kids. Some kids ask questions, some speak up for themselves, some are too afraid to ask. Fortunately, people can change.
I was one of those "perfect kids" who followed the grown-ups and did what I was told. Amazingly when I was in my teens I started to question things. I gradually saw that I had the ability to seek advice, seek information, try new things. Each success fired me up even more. I also observed other people who did and did not ask these questions.
So, people can change, thank heavens.
Why don't we speak up for ourselves? (I mean "we" in the general sense) Because we are taking risks, stepping out of our comfort zones. Every time you do something new it might not work out. We might fail. Humans are hard-wired to not want to fail.
Back to Agency - you have to believe that you "have the power" which sounds like hokey, goofy self-help talk. But a certain amount of that self-help talk is absolutely true - even if people like to make fun of it.
Note: I'm an Amercian GenXer, and my generation grew up laughing at the character Stuart Smalley on SNL. (google it) My sarcastic, untrusting generation learned to be suspicious of self-help.
FYI - I recommend you read a book or two by John Medina about "Brain Rules", they explain human nature and why we are hard-wired to stay in our comfort zone.
I wonder if this is a GenX thing, because I could have written this comment (except the mom/grandma part). I feel like all that "perfect child/student" stuff taught us how to blend in - when we wanted to. I made up my mind about the big stuff in life between ages 11 and 15 (didn't want kids, planned to "work my way around the world", atheism/agnosticism, etc), and I have never wavered. Weirdly, High Agency actions are easier for me than mundane decisions.
For me, it's "Because they don’t have a huge ego. They know that life has ups and downs. They back themselves to start again from nothing and find a way."
Willing to let down our ego to match with current reality and understand that it's not pernament.
I'm a high agency person who had to repurpose my life after my 28 year old daughter died. Or else.
I left a toxic work culture in healthcare and started my own business as a nurse practitioner and self-care coach. I'm connected to my why at all times, and it makes my unf#kwithable.
Well, that's why I'm a Phoenix Soul. I had to level up my self-care, drop any B.S. (belief system) that no longer served, and follow my internal happiness meter to find a reason to live. It is working. Thank you for asking. Still making a come- back, but what is coming back is my authentic self minus a slew of energy-wasters that I used to think were important. Like the aftermath of a forest fire that brings new growth. 🔥
Mindset is ground zero. I have mostly made shit up on other people’s payroll. Now it’s my own. I did this once before for 10 years and it didn’t work out so well. Now I have a different plan.
They got more than their fair share of the revenues I generated for them for what I did.
And, if they had not been such f&*%wits, I could have done much more.
Employees often don't understand that companies don't give sh%t about their employees - they are just revenue generating units.
That's actually fine provided companies realize that employees are just using them to generate what *they* need: fixed and variable comp based on production and building their skill set and network
They can’t do stuff like travel without it, so use their ignorance to delegate. Smart really but after reading your piece they are just gonna have to learn!
I used to drive around Europe using these old things made of paper called maps. You really got the feel for the territory and direction of your journey, the layout of the land. All lost to pretty much anyone under 40 these days. The percentage of the amount of our brains that we use will shrink by my reckoning. Life has become just too ‘convenient’ in so many ways. Where is the challenge that helps us develop? In a computer game?
Useful! I really like this idea that high agency people can hold two opposing views in their head at the same time without exploding like a nuclear bomb. This is an art to master!
I don't believe it, Timm, I am an old woman and I lived during the great isolation of Albania for 50 consecutive years. But after the 90's I try, I get informed with quality and I feel some of your articles deeply, as well as the people who want more and manage to do their pasions without political support and I am amazed by them and by you, you are so young
I copied quite a few "sentences" throughout this newsletter. And, I shared one to my Facebook page! "Questions are the seeds of high agency thinking. Learn to ask better ones."
Yes as my extra daily thing! I love to give back about being a professional artist... mostly. But I have been working on a book about being an artist and am near the ending stages of my writing. I am being told by family and friends "Get it done!"
Well... audience online already... I have been online with my artwork for many many years, and doing blogs and newsletters all along the way. I'm a relatively well known artist. I did join Medium and wrote many articles, and then joined Substack doing the same. Starting out with consistency, but then slacking off. I do not have a consistency in my posting that would be the way to proceed... mainly because the artwork comes first. (Like I have two very nice shows coming up to deliver by the mid-to-end of this month- 23 paintings and 20 paintings) I do have quite a following in the art and that audience is also the one for my writing. I saw this, and also know what I write has a wider reach than artists and I am seeing some, and is geared to how to live a life well-lived, positive and giving. Well, more than you may have wanted to know! I'm smiling as I write that. Thank you for asking.
Tim, thank you for giving it a name. I was always told I was contrary. I never understood why it just seemed more interesting. It has served me well over the years.
Investments I was told would never work. Increasing the price of my house for sale when I was told to drop it. Moving house to a place everyone questioned which resulted in me being the happiest I've ever been. Winning a case against an insurer when I was told it wasn't possible. Starting a company From the ground up with little money.
Always lots of food for thought in your stuff Tim. High agency is good but you need to know where to point it. Goals that are not too lofty but not entirely selfish.
Lol, I struggle to get my own children to follow me, let alone anyone else! Na, sounds weird but I'm working on being a good follower. Listening to advice and following it properly, as it's intended. Just started flying trapeze classes and my coach assures me it's a rare skill.
Pure brilliance Tim. Agency is the greatest personal competency we can have. We can be capable & motivated, but precisely nothing gets done without being Agentic.
Pretty much sums up the story of my whole life:*) Lately I've been getting burn out and mental fog from constantly needing to figure out major life s*it. This article helped me see that some people are just wired in a high agency way and that I should try and relax into it more and take joy in that…..
This is the single best thing you've written, Tim.
Means a lot Pamela. Why do you think this is my best post? Would love to learn more.
I'm a financial coach, a mom, a grandma, a "student of the world". In my mid-50s, I am coming to the conclusion that one's perception of agency is 90% of how they react to their world.
Some people speak up for themselves, some don't. It starts when people are kids. Some kids ask questions, some speak up for themselves, some are too afraid to ask. Fortunately, people can change.
I was one of those "perfect kids" who followed the grown-ups and did what I was told. Amazingly when I was in my teens I started to question things. I gradually saw that I had the ability to seek advice, seek information, try new things. Each success fired me up even more. I also observed other people who did and did not ask these questions.
So, people can change, thank heavens.
Why don't we speak up for ourselves? (I mean "we" in the general sense) Because we are taking risks, stepping out of our comfort zones. Every time you do something new it might not work out. We might fail. Humans are hard-wired to not want to fail.
Back to Agency - you have to believe that you "have the power" which sounds like hokey, goofy self-help talk. But a certain amount of that self-help talk is absolutely true - even if people like to make fun of it.
Note: I'm an Amercian GenXer, and my generation grew up laughing at the character Stuart Smalley on SNL. (google it) My sarcastic, untrusting generation learned to be suspicious of self-help.
FYI - I recommend you read a book or two by John Medina about "Brain Rules", they explain human nature and why we are hard-wired to stay in our comfort zone.
You win best comment. What a story.
I wonder if this is a GenX thing, because I could have written this comment (except the mom/grandma part). I feel like all that "perfect child/student" stuff taught us how to blend in - when we wanted to. I made up my mind about the big stuff in life between ages 11 and 15 (didn't want kids, planned to "work my way around the world", atheism/agnosticism, etc), and I have never wavered. Weirdly, High Agency actions are easier for me than mundane decisions.
Another powerful thought. I was never the perfect student. I always questioned authority. Is that what entrepreneurship really is?
It is at first - because the norm is to get a good job with salary and benefits. NOT being an employee requires you to challenge that.
What do you like the most about it, Pamela?
For me, it's "Because they don’t have a huge ego. They know that life has ups and downs. They back themselves to start again from nothing and find a way."
Willing to let down our ego to match with current reality and understand that it's not pernament.
Letting go of ego is a big thing.
The book ego is the enemy helped me
Sameee. That rang so true
I'm a high agency person who had to repurpose my life after my 28 year old daughter died. Or else.
I left a toxic work culture in healthcare and started my own business as a nurse practitioner and self-care coach. I'm connected to my why at all times, and it makes my unf#kwithable.
Thank you for this post!
Sorry to hear Tricia. How the heck do you come back from that sort of tragedy?
Well, that's why I'm a Phoenix Soul. I had to level up my self-care, drop any B.S. (belief system) that no longer served, and follow my internal happiness meter to find a reason to live. It is working. Thank you for asking. Still making a come- back, but what is coming back is my authentic self minus a slew of energy-wasters that I used to think were important. Like the aftermath of a forest fire that brings new growth. 🔥
Mindset is ground zero. I have mostly made shit up on other people’s payroll. Now it’s my own. I did this once before for 10 years and it didn’t work out so well. Now I have a different plan.
Done the same Neil. Some say I'm unethical for using other people's payroll. What do you think?
They got more than their fair share of the revenues I generated for them for what I did.
And, if they had not been such f&*%wits, I could have done much more.
Employees often don't understand that companies don't give sh%t about their employees - they are just revenue generating units.
That's actually fine provided companies realize that employees are just using them to generate what *they* need: fixed and variable comp based on production and building their skill set and network
Haha made me smile Neil
My God, reading this I realise how there are people in my life for whom the internet might as well never been invented…
😁
:)
They can’t do stuff like travel without it, so use their ignorance to delegate. Smart really but after reading your piece they are just gonna have to learn!
Too much internet hurts my brain. I feel like I had agency before the internet.
I used to drive around Europe using these old things made of paper called maps. You really got the feel for the territory and direction of your journey, the layout of the land. All lost to pretty much anyone under 40 these days. The percentage of the amount of our brains that we use will shrink by my reckoning. Life has become just too ‘convenient’ in so many ways. Where is the challenge that helps us develop? In a computer game?
I don't miss maps. I do miss in-person conversations. No one wants to do it anymore.
Kevin, they do better or worse with the internet?
Both inspiring and practical insights! A bunch of thanks for sharing this, Tim!
Xin chao em 👀
:)
Any insight stand out the most?
Useful! I really like this idea that high agency people can hold two opposing views in their head at the same time without exploding like a nuclear bomb. This is an art to master!
It's a play on a quote I once hear but 100% true.
I can't find enough words to thank Timm for his valuable and inspiring contribution!
I know some high agency persons and they are so charming, enlightening, they radiate intelligence as soon as you meet them.
They know how to take care of small, seemingly unimportant details.
They are truly beautiful and human individuals!
How lucky we are when we meet them, they make us happy!
Do you feel you're high agency?
I don't believe it, Timm, I am an old woman and I lived during the great isolation of Albania for 50 consecutive years. But after the 90's I try, I get informed with quality and I feel some of your articles deeply, as well as the people who want more and manage to do their pasions without political support and I am amazed by them and by you, you are so young
Never too late to change
Of course, the potential of the older people has not yet been explored, but they prove every day that they can do great things!
I am constantly trying!
Agree
Spicy Tim!! That lede is the best!
What's a lede Michelle?
First line of your article. The intro. Journalism school still haunts me 35 years later.
Haha I learned something Michelle.
I copied quite a few "sentences" throughout this newsletter. And, I shared one to my Facebook page! "Questions are the seeds of high agency thinking. Learn to ask better ones."
Means a lot Marsha. Are you a writer?
Yes as my extra daily thing! I love to give back about being a professional artist... mostly. But I have been working on a book about being an artist and am near the ending stages of my writing. I am being told by family and friends "Get it done!"
Do you have an audience online already?
Well... audience online already... I have been online with my artwork for many many years, and doing blogs and newsletters all along the way. I'm a relatively well known artist. I did join Medium and wrote many articles, and then joined Substack doing the same. Starting out with consistency, but then slacking off. I do not have a consistency in my posting that would be the way to proceed... mainly because the artwork comes first. (Like I have two very nice shows coming up to deliver by the mid-to-end of this month- 23 paintings and 20 paintings) I do have quite a following in the art and that audience is also the one for my writing. I saw this, and also know what I write has a wider reach than artists and I am seeing some, and is geared to how to live a life well-lived, positive and giving. Well, more than you may have wanted to know! I'm smiling as I write that. Thank you for asking.
Tim, thank you for giving it a name. I was always told I was contrary. I never understood why it just seemed more interesting. It has served me well over the years.
What has being high agency done for you Lynda?
Investments I was told would never work. Increasing the price of my house for sale when I was told to drop it. Moving house to a place everyone questioned which resulted in me being the happiest I've ever been. Winning a case against an insurer when I was told it wasn't possible. Starting a company From the ground up with little money.
Always lots of food for thought in your stuff Tim. High agency is good but you need to know where to point it. Goals that are not too lofty but not entirely selfish.
Shoni, what about starting a movement?
Lol, I struggle to get my own children to follow me, let alone anyone else! Na, sounds weird but I'm working on being a good follower. Listening to advice and following it properly, as it's intended. Just started flying trapeze classes and my coach assures me it's a rare skill.
From your Zach Pogrob list, the point I've done twice is moving countries. Moving abroad rewires your brain. You'll never be same again.
What countries did you move to Denis?
I grew up in Russia and moved to the Czech Republic, then to Germany.
Same! That and travelling alone.
Michelle what do you love about travel?
Loved reading this story, Tim!
I experienced young people tend to be less high-agency than before...
Especially men.
I see it less in women.
Do you think it's because we have to work harder?
Pure brilliance Tim. Agency is the greatest personal competency we can have. We can be capable & motivated, but precisely nothing gets done without being Agentic.
That's been true in my life for sure.
🔥🔥🔥
Anything stand out?
Pretty much sums up the story of my whole life:*) Lately I've been getting burn out and mental fog from constantly needing to figure out major life s*it. This article helped me see that some people are just wired in a high agency way and that I should try and relax into it more and take joy in that…..
Ok, this was FIRE to read and hardly on point! 👌🏼
What part did you find helpful?