11 Decisions I'm Making At 38 To Avoid Regret At 58
The future you is formed by every small decision you make today, not luck or fate
Regrets hurt worse than death.
Most of us are drowning in them. I spent most of my 20s either drunk or afraid to catch a plane and leave Australia. My 20s sucked. At 38, I’m a different human and should probably change my name.
The decisions you make today determine your future. So today you can make your future anything you want. It’s 100% in your control. Dare to be crazy.
Here are the decisions I’m making at 38. Use them to transform your future.
1. Using the “I'll start now and figure it out as I go” mindset
I recently spent time in hospital.
The bastard surgeon found some tumors. It kind of sucked. He removed them but left me with mental scars. Now I don’t live for tomorrow anymore. I don’t put a f*cking thing off like a procrastinating low-life. Nope.
It’s today or never.
So I trust myself to start and see what happens. Whether it’s bankruptcy, a drug dealer selling drugs in the back of the limo I drove, or an all-out war that broke out in the strip club I worked at that nearly caused me to get stabbed… I can survive anything.
When I don’t know the answer my curiosity and experimental mind take over. The start is messy. There are sometimes casualties (HI, TODD!!! [business partner]). But I always figure it out. It goes from scary, to okay, to calm, to solved.
Do the thing you know you must do. The momentum from action will knock over all the roadblocks.
2. Making more babies that pee on the ceiling
I’m 38. I should have had kids at 28.
I waited a long time because I was scared. I used to be unable to take care of myself, let alone a wife & kid.
I can’t change the past. But I can fill the future with more babies.
Kids are a paradox. On the one hand they’re little terrorists that blow up your day, mess your house up, pee on the ceiling, and laugh at the chaos they cause.
On the other hand there’s a great sense of meaning you get.
All the things I screwed up can now be given a second chance through my daughter’s life. All the things I didn’t get to do as a kid (like go to Disneyland.. screw you, dad) I can now do again with her.
One kid is hard but it’s so rewarding it makes sense for me to have more kids. I’ve tried dogs but it’s just not the same – the scoundrels can’t understand english.
If you’re sold on the idea of kids, then having them sooner and popping out more than one is well worth considering. I intend to make that dream a reality (giggity giggity).
3. Not selling any financial assets
The #1 way investors stay broke is by selling.
I used to hop in and out of investments like Jumping Jack Flash. Not anymore. This past 90 days my investments have made record amounts of money. What’s hard for most to understand is I made those investments 3, 5, and even 10 years ago.
When I do the deep research at the start and back my decisions, if I hold on for long enough, I make life-changing money.
Time in the market beats timing the market.
So one decision I’m making is to *not* sell any Bitcoin for at least 5 years. My enthusiasm on the asset is so high it has the potential to retire my entire bloodline.
A $1M Bitcoin price seems obvious to me now that countries are buying it (not financial advice). Investments, for me, are an insurance policy. I live off the cash flow of my business. My investments are just to help me sleep at night.
Build financial peace of mind through investing. Stay the hell away from day trading.
4. More memories, fewer possessions
I bought a Tesla.
Within a week the feeling wore off. One decision I’ve made is to make more memories and buy fewer possessions.
When I look back on my iPhone photo album I smile. When I look back at transactions on my bank statement I feel nothing or sometimes anxiety.
The easiest way to create a memory is to schedule a family activity. The more family you invite the more intertwined memories you create. A day with my daughter feels better than any house or car purchase. It motivates me to go to work, too.
Bill Perkins once said:
“You don’t retire on money, you retire on memories.”
I feel this every day. I retired from the corporate world 4 years ago. I no longer have day-to-day work memories. It’s the one bad part of running an online business. But I do have 10 years of amazing banking memories.
Wild parties, bankers caught in the middle of the casino with no pants on, a strange colleague with 2 kids touching my crotch at a work function, failed startups run by potheads…. ohhh the stories.
The memories are priceless. They keep me going which makes me feel like a grandpa. I’m getting a glimpse of what it's like to be 95 and stuck in an armchair for most of the day. All it does is make me want to create more memories right now.
Make career and life decisions based on the memory ROI you’ll get.
Don’t be afraid to leave your old life behind.
5. More time barefoot in the sun like a bum
I used to walk barefoot but I’d step on glass and bleed worse than Hannibal Lecter’s murder victims.
Now I’ve changed my mind. Walking barefoot helps you experience grounding. It’s where the magical forces of the earth provide you with health benefits.
Research shows walking barefoot for 30 minutes a day can relieve stress, lower anxiety, cure depression, improve sleep, reduce blood pressure, and overall make you feel better than not doing it.Sun exposure has the same therapeutic benefit for me. The trouble is I spend so much of the day in front of a screen, I don’t experience it.
That’s why I’ve committed to more daily sun exposure.
I’m feeling better already. Plus, when combined with walking, you become an idea machine. This is great if you write online like I do.
Bum it in the sun barefoot if you want to be healthier.
6. Spending less time on Zoom calls
Yesterday a dude wanted to do a Zoom call.
They were introduced by a friend at 8 AM and wanted to Zoom at 12 PM. I emailed them back. “Can’t do.”
I’m sick of Zoom calls. They’re exhausting. I’m not taking any more for the rest of the year. Even if the Zoom call is only one hour, it hurts my brain before and afterward for at least 2 hours. Reality is too good to sit in the metaverse on Zoom calls all day.
This is a big reason I quit the corporate world, and the virus has spread now to my business as well. Time to nuke Zoom calls.
Make your default answer to Zoom calls “No.” Email instead and see what happens.
7. Driving fast to experience the thrill
Everyone says to drive slow.
Except in Europe where their autobahns have either no speed limit or 200 miles an hour. They know that the need for speed is therapeutic.
Now that I drive an electric car I’ve discovered true speed. I can accelerate faster than any knob in a Porsche. It’s a little addictive. So when I go on freeways now I take advantage of the speed and go fast for a few miles.
Not to show off but to feel the power of a machine created by humans. It helps me to appreciate how far civilization has come. And when you turn on self-driving that feeling is amplified further.
Technology should inspire you. Use its power.
8. Being more open-minded to crazy ideas
Cancel culture got so bad people stopped sharing their ideas out of fear.
Now the virus that infected our minds is dying off thanks to platforms like this. I feel like society and the media have programmed me more than I care to admit.
Yesterday I watched a Microsoft video of a lady naming 10+ original owners of the land she stood on. She even named the color of her shirt as an identifier. Previously I’d just accept this bizarre scenario.
Now I question it.
Is it necessary? Am I responsible for what people did 400 years ago? Does blessing the land help the people it was stolen from? Why don’t “caring people” give money or land to the people they acknowledge? Is this a form of gaslighting?
One big question: Who benefits from all of this?
I don’t have answers to any of these questions but I’m starting to ask them. I even questioned whether I should have taken a bat virus vaccine in 2020. I find when I question ideas I have new insights.
I’m going to question more. I’m not going to accept the default answer anymore either.
Most of what we’ve been told is an exaggeration to shape our decisions and get us to be a forgettable cog in the economy. Question everything.
9. Less social media scrolling and more newsletters
Social media homepages are CNN news with a side of nuclear war.
No thanks. Social media is fine in small doses. But I’ve decided to spend more of my reading time on newsletters. I want the depth. The personal stories. The wisdom beneath the headline.
Newsletters are good for me because they come straight to my inbox. I don’t have to open an app or trip over an Elon meme to get them.
Choose more depth over McDonald’s content.
10. “I’ll just do one set and see how I feel.”
I know exercise is good for me but life easily gets in the way.
One decision I’ve made is to do more exercise. The way I will do it is to tell myself “I’ll just do one set and see how I feel.” I can always say yes to that whereas committing to a 1-hour workout is harder.
Sometimes I’ll just go to the gym & stretch. It’s not as good as exercise but it’s better than doing nothing and looking like Steve Jobs on his deathbed apologizing to his daughter for pretending she didn’t exist.
Do one set and see what happens. This doesn’t just apply to the gym. It applies to any habit, especially writing or online business.
11. Embracing slow living to live like a grandpa
Grandpas don’t get enough trophies for their lifestyle.
I used to go fast. I’d speed through my email inbox like a crack addict. I’d work twice as many hours as I needed to. I’d tackle a to-do list of 100 tasks harder than Hulk Hogan in a pair of undies during his prime.
The wealthiest people I know are slowing down.
They’re doing less but better.
Waking up early and starting slow has its benefits. I’m trying to go slower with my daughter too. It’s tempting for us to wake up and for me to rush my interactions with her because I feel like I’ve got a 5000 pound gorilla on my back called online business that I have to feed.
Slow time is quality time. Fast time is junk food time that gives me mental diabetes.
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The driving fast rule really hits differently.
Driving on an open road feels like a rare kind of freedom 🤩
This is a really unique tip, man. I will do it more for sure :)
Important stuff, as always, when Tim filters down his thoughts through a keyboard.
Embracing slow living enhances your life.
You have time to experience, feel, reflect, and appreciate the moment.
Slow living makes you a better human.