Here's How to Do a Hard Reset on Your Life in the Next 65 Minutes
And what reading about p*rn bizarrely taught me
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Now to today’s Substack…
Life can easily get out of control.
Even if you’re a boy/girl scout getting straight As and never breaking the speed limit. The days can all blend into one. Your subconscious runs the show.
If you don’t do something about this time in life – that we all face at some point – you can end up wasting huge chunks of your life.
I wasted most of my 20s living like this. I wish I had known back then about this concept of a hard reset.
Think of it like pushing the reset button on your computer or PlayStation. The device has to boot up again with a clean screen. The same concept can work for your mind. It takes about 65 minutes.
Here are the steps.
Notice how you feel
The most important part of this process is honesty.
Most people BS all over themselves and then wonder why they can’t find their version of success. So what you want to do is notice how you feel.
Are you always angry?
Are you constantly frustrated?
Do you complain a lot?
Do you blame others for your mistakes?
Does life feel same-same from day to day or even boring?
I’m guilty of all of these at various points in my life. These are flashing red sirens telling you to do a hard reset.
Reset this important brain chemical
I’ve spent the last two months reading about p*rn.
You might think that’s weird. Why would I do that? The reason is that many things in life have become versions of the same p*rn that birthed the internet and introduced humans to 24/7 XXX content.
I wanted to study it because the effects of XXX p*rn are the same ones drug addicts experience and that is now caused by many of the apps we use. P*rn-like addictions are all enabled by the brain chemical dopamine.
Dopamine is the chemical in the brain responsible for driving motivation and giving us rewards. P*rn videos and apps have used this chemical to hijack our body’s reward system to exploit us for money.
The books I read taught me that a heroin addict has a broken reward system in their brain. They need a heavy drug to feel normal.
The same problem a heroin junkie experiences is the same one gamers, social media addicts, and p*rn users also suffer from.
Even eating junk food can hijack your brain’s reward system.
All of us to some degree suffer from the effects of having our dopamine levels messed with. When this happens life can feel boring. It can be hard to be motivated. All your senses are dulled too.
The solution is a hard reset on your dopamine levels.
It means going a few days without a phone. Or turning off all your notifications. Or deleting Instagram so you stop seeing softcore p*rn in the form of beach models.
Unless your dopamine levels return to a normal baseline, life will feel sh*t and you won’t know why. And 99% of people are being manipulated by their own cheap dopamine addiction.
Action:
Do a dopamine detox
Acknowledge and write down your addictions
Restructure everything
Now you know how you feel and what’s holding you back, it’s time to make changes. I find experimentation in this phase of the reset is crucial.
Drop a nuke on your task list
Most people are doing bullsh*t tasks and don’t even realize it.
Write down all your tasks. Then hit the delete button on all of them. Now only write down what is mission critical to your survival and your handful of goals.
Now take this refined list of tasks and cut it in half again. Now you have time back and 10x more focus.
Blow up your calendar too
Calendars can easily accumulate time debt.
Before you know it, you’re bankrupt and walking around saying “I’m busy” when the problem is really the calendar.
Most meetings could be emails. Many “catch-ups” aren’t necessary and are putting you further behind. If you’re at a point where a hard reset is needed, do yourself a favor and get back time then reallocate into de-stressing (exercise, mediation, yoga, reading, etc).
If you have no time you’re no good to anyone - not even your family or YOURSELF.
Create a new plan on the back of a napkin
People hate this step.
It sounds so self-helpy. But it works because the nature of the universe is that it leans towards entropy. That means chaos is our normal.
If you don’t come up with a plan then someone else’s plan will run your life. Or the chaos of the universe will take over. I like plans on the back of napkins because they tell your mind NOT to overthink or make it complicated.
A plan is simple:
What is the big goal right now?
What are your three priorities?
What habits will you follow each day?
What systems will back up your habits and goals?
What will get you the results that’ll bring joy to you?
What people do you need help from to make the plan happen?
What sources of energy will you use to fuel the plan? (no energy, no results)
Once you have answers to these questions you have a rough plan. Now it’s time to execute it.
Schedule a weekly review
People f*ck up the planning process.
They make plans and have them set in stone. But life isn’t that simple. A good plan that’s executed on needs regular iteration. You need to take the feedback and feelings you get from implementing the plan and make changes.
The easy, no stuffing around way to do this is with a weekly review.
Make the plan. Review the plan weekly. What worked? What didn’t? Do more of what worked and less of what didn’t.
Bringing it all together
This is what a hard reset looks like.
It’s not complicated and a 5th grader can do it. The steps shouldn’t wow you with how original they are – because life is straightforward when you get out of your own way and stop overthinking everything.
This hard reset should take about 65 minutes to do – and it’ll change your life. That’s less time than it takes to watch a Netflix movie
Push the reset button, then experience higher states of consciousness.
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Great post Tim. I think the biggest key (for me) has been to stop doing unimportant stuff, and there is far more unimportant stuff than we realize!
I did a hard reset a couple years ago - got divorced after 29 years and a decade+ of resentment and dysfunction. Tim those self care tips you mentioned - yoga, meditation, reading, nature - kept me from a total collapse. I took a rotten life experience and turned it into a coaching business supporting people doing their own reset and recalibration. Life gave me lemons so…
Thanks Tim for your constant reminders to invest in what matters to us most while we still can.