77 Comments

Tim, you've articulated the introvert's experience perfectly. I'm not shy, but I often feel drained by social events and small talk. It's not that I dislike people; I just prefer deeper connections and meaningful conversations. Your article validates those feelings and shows that it's okay to prioritize solitude and reflection, even if it means not always fitting in with the extroverted ideal.

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Deeper and more meaningful or go home. Yea. Well said, Alexander.

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Exactly 💯. I just don't have the time or energy to deal with everyone else minutiae.

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Ok you’re explaining the autistic experience, well mine anyway!

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author

How so Rachelle?

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Hey Tim! well a couple of things resonated.. You said: Most people don’t get me. “Going out with friends” is a struggle. This is aligned with the autistic experience.

An outcast is someone who doesn’t fit in. They’re outspoken. And most of all, they hate the mainstream narrative. Autistics see the world differently and usually in ways that make it hard to accept mainstream.

I don’t sugarcoat anything. Autistic people are known to be quite literal and upfront.

When you try to fit in you become someone you’re not - in the autistic community this is called masking.

Time alone lets me shut out the noise and focus. - an autistic dream, de-masking and hyper focus! Also non-normative productivity.

Office jobs made me depressed. Yeah same, because of the lights, aircon, structure, small talk, meetings.

Of course it's different for everyone but thats how I experience things and I thought it was interesting. I really enjoyed your writing. Thanks!

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Mine too... precisely 😏

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I have been an outcast my whole life. I never fit in, not even with my family.

I'm the most negative person in the room all the time even though I'm only being real..

I'm the weirdest one in the room because I think and that's most of the time what I do..

To top all this, I got anxiety and depression. I mean, Talk about an all-in-one dipshit package.

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You're the real deal, Karthik. a fellow outcast salutes you.

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Hang in there, Karthik - you most likely ARE correct.

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I enjoyed the snippets of autobiography thrown in there. My kids are half Japanese and my son had a bit of a hard time of it at school.

I'm not sure about this word 'outcast', though. To me that would suggest you've been excluded, banished from the kingdom of valiant knights, or today's equivalent. 'Outsider' feels more accurate to what you're describing. Semantics perhaps...

Question: why the plethora of asterisks where 'i' or 'u' belongs, if you don't give a shit/fuck? Is this self-censorship or has Substack told you you must use an asterisk? Outcasts surely don't give a shit;)

'

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haha haha ..they dont give a shit . Love that

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A good question I'd like to know the answer to.

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I can't call myself an outcast but came to accept my opinions when they don't fit in. It's about money, dating advice, discipline, sports, etc.

Social media lets you share your (weird) opinions with the world, and there are people who love and hate you, but they have one thing in common: They read you. Even your haters pay attention to you and give you money on the Internet.

If this doesn't feel like a win, I don't know what does.

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"It means you... consume the same Netflix tv series that every other monkey in a clown suit is drowning themselves in so they can numb the pain of their normal life into next year."

This one hit home. Thanks, Tim.

I quit drinking 7 months ago because I was finally tired of numbing myself each night just to dread the morning when I had to "log back on" to my normal career. It took another 6 months for me to decide to start writing.

It takes patience and diligence to break away and become yourself.

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I have felt like an outcast my entire life - till only recently. At age 77, I finally get it. That it’s a VERY GOOD to think and be outside the “box.” I had many talents as a young kid - which kept me on the edge of things. Yeah, outcast. But when I tried to fit in, it never worked. Even now, I have problems with being “left out.” Even as I know that for me to be happy & satisfied with kife - I MUST stay “out here,” thinking my own thoughts, and speaking up and out when I need to. Cuz that’s when i get what I need and want.

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I love eating food from all around the world and learning about new cultures. Those are the reasons why I'm part of an international NGO. I have friends from Iran, Tunisia, Russia, Palestine, China, Mexico, Ecuador.. and I love it!

People from my hometown where I grow don't get it. That's why I left as soon as possible.

The "normal" people are missing out on amazing experiences and an interesting life.

Thank you, Tim, for reminding me!

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Freudian slip:

I read the intro: "Being an outcast is a daily snuggle."

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Has anyone completed an enneagram? I recently took one and learned I'm an Individualist, and the “outcast” theme runs strong in this personality type. We so rarely feel seen.

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Those are fun but I don't take them too seriously. I was a bunch of letters then became a different bunch of letters at one point. I realized pretty quickly after 23 that I'm gonna change a lot. Almost too much. It's not without reason though. Complication and fidelity's increase without cause so it's safe to assume I must grow with it. But it changes me constantly.

The only thing that hasn't changed is that when I close my eyes, I see a better world.

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I love you because you are more like myself than I am.

——Wuthering Heights (written by Emily Brontë)

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Also one may or may not discard astrology but right now the full moon in Aquarius (more precisely Sunday 19/08 just gone) was about expressing and releasing the story of unworthiness for all of those who feel outcast, misunderstood, maybe those who were / are not the popular kids at school and see the world differently (don’t we all) and for those people to really step into the world unapologetically and authentically as themselves! Love that Substack is a platform that makes this safe and possible.

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I so relate to the outcast and outsider. “I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”

― Anais Nin

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Tim I jut love your posts. I have been reading all of them. I am at a crossroads right. Currently I work at a bank too in QA and realize I truly don't like the job. It is stressful, high metrics, toxic boss, etc etc. Currently I am out on medical leave due to mental stress and return next month from the stress I was under. I suffer from Anxiety Stress Disorder and Depression. I almost lost my job over high metrics. I did manage to get myself off of it by working my ass off to be honest. Low and behind my boss says to me who is not helpful at all, " Bill you improved but not really you are now making mistakes with this metric. We can't have this as this will get you on another final warning" Long story short I have been writing off and on since I was 12 and since I have been out I really been focusing on my writing I am not making tremendous progress, but I have articles on Medium, I opened my Substack no newsletter or anything fancy yet (it's a work in progress) and post on Quora and write on Newsbreak. I'm also working on a novel and a book of short story collections. My vow is to leave my job once I can make the same income from my writing. I know it will take time but I wanted to say your articles help keep me motivated to make this change and stop working for the man as I call them. Thanks again for everything you do. Blessings to you and your family. Sorry for the novel.

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Worth a read.

I enjoyed reading this, Tim.

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If you're not familiar with the song 'Little Boxes' by Malvina Reynolds, I highly recommend it. A personal fave when I need to drive through suburbia.

I'm sure you are but - had to suggest it

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