Most religions are not cults, few religions are cults which is the one somehow you ended up, do not normalise extremism, overall good article but some of the points don't apply to everyone's career
lol yes I heard in a discussion on parenting last week someone saying that generally, men see children as pets since most of the (invisible) labour is done by women and that paragraph made me think of that
This was the dumbest one. Absolute, pure cope. I’m glad he enjoys being a parent and finds meaning there, but it is not pure joy all the time and it absolutely is the end of A LOT of freedoms. Every door you walk through in life closes a hundred others.
Haha, yeah, how old are his kids and how often does he see them? I love my kids and there's plenty of joy but there's also frustration and boredom and work involved.
And that's normal. If we want every moment to be pure joy, we'll break when things get hard. We either get mad at ourselves for not being perfect parents, or we put un-due pressure on our kids to be perfect that will destroy them, or their relationship with us, down the road.
Really well written and I agree with many of your points. But: I wouldn't say that the corporate ladder is generally wrong, as you did in "9. No one who climbs the corporate ladder is happy."
I'm very happy working as a programmer in a fairly large company. It is fun, it pays the bills, and even though I know that the corporation will not care for any individual if things get worse, at least my day job makes me happy.
So I think everyone has to decide for themselves. Not every corporate job consists of sitting in a cubicle and doing meaningless stuff :)
@Tim Denning - Book mark this post! Then every 5 years write a before and after "Part 2"- what did I learn post. I love this post - I'd twist one thing in terms of how to get into the flow-state - (my twist) from a healthy psychological/physiological space within yourself. This perspective is necessary, as we age, if you want maturation to include wisdom!
Disappear from public life but also obsessively comment on your tweets 14 hours a day to gain followers to never have to work another job. Writing on Substack is the definition of having a public life and without one you wouldn’t be making a living.
#6 resonated - "One of the clearest signs of intelligence is being able to hear an opinion you disagree with and not act emotionally." Just yesterday I was having lunch with a colleague and told him I'd rather buy $10k worth of Bitcoin than spend it on a new kitchen (call me dumb). The guy gave me all the reasons for why Bitcoin is a scam. I just listened and asked him about the world's financial system. No emotion, nada. In reality, I recalled myself speaking that way a decade ago. "Your time will come," I said. By the way, I'm 38 too.
All of these speak to me, and the one that stood out the most is #15. I decided to ghost my public life and go dark, and have been there for 18 months now. I'm not quite sure how I will emerge once again, but definitely interested in starting at zero.
I never thought I would no longer want to do what I was doing, because I loved my work, or so I thought, until I stepped away from it and saw the damage being a high performer and public figure caused me.
I will disagree with you on one level, getting old does not suck. We need to shift our perspective on that "age old story". There is great power in becoming The Elder, with the caveat of taking good care of your physical health and well being.
I just wanted to say that the cat downstairs doesn’t eat any vegetables, and can jump pretty high, walk on the fence, hunt heavier prey and seems to enjoy life. Just saying. Thank you.
I'm much older than Tim, and what he says about regrets is so painfully true. The amount of wisdom in this issue is not even believable. Thank you sincerely Tim
Most people walk through life sleepwalking. Those of you here are awake. Tim, you have much wisdom at 38. I speak from one who is mid 70s. Your message is ageless.
This was really good, thank you so much! I’m 52 and agree with all of it. I sent it to my 18 year old son, hope he will read it. So glad you have kids and know the joy of being a parent. It’s the best thing in the world!
This has got to be one of the most real pieces of text I have read in years! Like, WTF.....please send me more content such as this, or don't send me anything else. ALl I want to read is content such as this or nothing at all.
As a 60 year old, most items are decent advice. Others not so much - but still, again learn as you mature.
Which ones are questionable ?
Most religions are not cults, few religions are cults which is the one somehow you ended up, do not normalise extremism, overall good article but some of the points don't apply to everyone's career
Ha what „every minute parenting is pure joy“— what the actual fuck? No, that’s factually wrong.
lol yes I heard in a discussion on parenting last week someone saying that generally, men see children as pets since most of the (invisible) labour is done by women and that paragraph made me think of that
This was the dumbest one. Absolute, pure cope. I’m glad he enjoys being a parent and finds meaning there, but it is not pure joy all the time and it absolutely is the end of A LOT of freedoms. Every door you walk through in life closes a hundred others.
Haha, yeah, how old are his kids and how often does he see them? I love my kids and there's plenty of joy but there's also frustration and boredom and work involved.
And that's normal. If we want every moment to be pure joy, we'll break when things get hard. We either get mad at ourselves for not being perfect parents, or we put un-due pressure on our kids to be perfect that will destroy them, or their relationship with us, down the road.
The strongest animal on the planet eats between 2500 and 3000lbs of krill per day, not plants.
Really well written and I agree with many of your points. But: I wouldn't say that the corporate ladder is generally wrong, as you did in "9. No one who climbs the corporate ladder is happy."
I'm very happy working as a programmer in a fairly large company. It is fun, it pays the bills, and even though I know that the corporation will not care for any individual if things get worse, at least my day job makes me happy.
So I think everyone has to decide for themselves. Not every corporate job consists of sitting in a cubicle and doing meaningless stuff :)
Alcohol is only bad when used on a regular basis as an escape mechanism.
Like most things, moderation is key.
@Tim Denning - Book mark this post! Then every 5 years write a before and after "Part 2"- what did I learn post. I love this post - I'd twist one thing in terms of how to get into the flow-state - (my twist) from a healthy psychological/physiological space within yourself. This perspective is necessary, as we age, if you want maturation to include wisdom!
Disappear from public life but also obsessively comment on your tweets 14 hours a day to gain followers to never have to work another job. Writing on Substack is the definition of having a public life and without one you wouldn’t be making a living.
#6 resonated - "One of the clearest signs of intelligence is being able to hear an opinion you disagree with and not act emotionally." Just yesterday I was having lunch with a colleague and told him I'd rather buy $10k worth of Bitcoin than spend it on a new kitchen (call me dumb). The guy gave me all the reasons for why Bitcoin is a scam. I just listened and asked him about the world's financial system. No emotion, nada. In reality, I recalled myself speaking that way a decade ago. "Your time will come," I said. By the way, I'm 38 too.
All of these speak to me, and the one that stood out the most is #15. I decided to ghost my public life and go dark, and have been there for 18 months now. I'm not quite sure how I will emerge once again, but definitely interested in starting at zero.
I never thought I would no longer want to do what I was doing, because I loved my work, or so I thought, until I stepped away from it and saw the damage being a high performer and public figure caused me.
I will disagree with you on one level, getting old does not suck. We need to shift our perspective on that "age old story". There is great power in becoming The Elder, with the caveat of taking good care of your physical health and well being.
I just wanted to say that the cat downstairs doesn’t eat any vegetables, and can jump pretty high, walk on the fence, hunt heavier prey and seems to enjoy life. Just saying. Thank you.
I'm much older than Tim, and what he says about regrets is so painfully true. The amount of wisdom in this issue is not even believable. Thank you sincerely Tim
Most people walk through life sleepwalking. Those of you here are awake. Tim, you have much wisdom at 38. I speak from one who is mid 70s. Your message is ageless.
Lots of great advices. Liked most: 9, 17, 18 20, 34
This was really good, thank you so much! I’m 52 and agree with all of it. I sent it to my 18 year old son, hope he will read it. So glad you have kids and know the joy of being a parent. It’s the best thing in the world!
This has got to be one of the most real pieces of text I have read in years! Like, WTF.....please send me more content such as this, or don't send me anything else. ALl I want to read is content such as this or nothing at all.
Thank you!