Well done, Tim. I see what you did there: "Your self-help tip for today is to not listen to guys like me, who write about self-help for a living. Anyhoo...while you're here, here's what I learned and you should listen to me because I discovered the holy grail of self-help. And it is the opposite of self-help. So yeah, go and run screaming into the night. Embrace the struggle!"
"Nothing succeeds like success."
"Build it and they will come."
"All you have to do is start."
"Find a niche and fill it."
Self-help has been around since the ancient Greeks. Hell, upon closer examination, the cave art of Southwestern France probably has a tip for Grog, Gronk and the boys. It's pervasive. "Self-help" is the Ozempic of the masses. And the biggest problem with self-help is that it is designed to keep you from failing.
But failing is the key to success. I've yet to meet someone who can play a sport at the highest level without having failed at it. I mean, "Golf" spelled backwards is "F-A-I-L-U-R-E." After 50 years as a military officer, then as a progressively successful manufacturing and supply chain operations executive, I've fallen on my face dozens of times. Yeah, getting up and dusting yourself off is fine, but learning from your mistakes is so underrated, because I see, read about or otherwise countenance many so-called influencers daily who don't. And when these influencers are running the government, it's no wonder that we're making the same mistakes that our forebears made, and their forebears made, ad nauseam.
I've lived a life. I like to tell my students that I make more mistakes by 8am than most people make in a day. I'm the Edison of failure. I'm the poster boy of failure. Under the word "failure" in the dictionary...you get it. But that's the point. Nobody listens to me because I'm not a billionaire. I'm not flashy. I'm not famous, Tick-Tocky-famous, anyway.
No self-help book is going to help you. "Inspire" you, maybe. "Motivate" you? Possibly. But you have to get up each day, even when you don't want to, and do what you have to do. "Luck favors the prepared" is about the best I can do.
Whether Tim wrote it from the heart or tongue-in-cheek is irrelevant; you have to do what you have to do. Period.
Excellent Tim and as well as being absolutely correct in my experience, many of your points are very funny. The best piece of advice I was ever given was from a good friend who simply said "No victim shit please" when I was on yet another whinge about the hardships in my life. I was very angry but went home, thought on his words and started to work on me..... I have never looked back 😊
Great, common-sense advice. If you reading someone’s book for help, it is not self-help: it somebody’s else’s attempt to help you.
And your experience with the sanitizing editor’s offer to turn you into a ChatGPT clone reminds me of an anecdote from Dreyer’s English (great and entaining writing advice) where a pedantic copy-editor changed a famous thriller writer’s line, “Do you want to come in? he smiled, “ to: “Do you want to come in? he said, and smiled,” which resulted in an irate visit to the editor’s office by the author. (The same Grammar Nazi will probably correct me to say the visit cannot be ‘irate’- it should read, “… which resulted in a visit by the the irate author…” .)
"Everyone wants you to follow “the rules” so they can feel good about themselves. So they can make you conform and feel better about the bad decisions they’ve made."
Inconvenient truth...? The phrase and idea of "work-life" balance is Bullshit. It's all 'life'.
Think of it on a scale... what happens when we get too much 'life' and not enough 'work'... (flawed equation) and bullshit statement. ;)
Your first point in the article hits the nail on the head, Tim. I'm in my early 20s myself, and most of my generation have been spoon fed a glamorised version of reality. The result of this is that each of us are attached to a set of expectations about life, not realising that we can't just work a little hard in the hope that those expectations will come true because life is unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed. One should instead take complete ownership of the hell that life throws at them, with gratitude for what one already has, and be open to whatever fruits the future bears for taking full responsibility in the moment. Granted this thinking does involve faith in a higher power for me, but I'm convinced anyone who takes on this approach will come to agree with it. Life is hard and the whole point of it is to do your best with what comes your way. If you just do that and let go of your FOMO, then you're bound to have a fulfilling journey.
"People love labels because it let’s them outsource their failures to an unknown source that can’t be held accountable." This is it - we rely on labels as a part of our language model to make sense of the world. However, identifying with labels give us a sense of things being fixed and permanent, which problematic when we realise the world is constant flux.
Wait. What? All those books, audios, mantras, not going to work?
100% agree. Only you can move you. Anything else will be short lived and temporary. Take the long road, the long game. Why race to the finish when the finish is the end? It's the long game that will free you and reward you, whatever you seek.
I think that people should listen to these great truths. Imperfection and inconvenience are the natural lot of life.
Achievements, the glaring lights and quality can made with difficulty but we can be happy in the midst of inconveniences, as a a compensation for this inconvenience which we admited against our itself. A real mastery full of excitement and color!
There are only three people I listen to. First is Acharya Prashant, second is Shane Parrish and third is You. You three say the same things over and over. you people build my mind (daily) and teach me the right way to live. Unlike others you never show something shiny, filmy or golden.
One thing the younger generation needs to hear is that work/life balance is sh*t destroying their lives. It amazes me to hear complaints about putting in 10-hour workdays by 20-somethings (=those who've never really worked yet).
Well done, Tim. I see what you did there: "Your self-help tip for today is to not listen to guys like me, who write about self-help for a living. Anyhoo...while you're here, here's what I learned and you should listen to me because I discovered the holy grail of self-help. And it is the opposite of self-help. So yeah, go and run screaming into the night. Embrace the struggle!"
"Nothing succeeds like success."
"Build it and they will come."
"All you have to do is start."
"Find a niche and fill it."
Self-help has been around since the ancient Greeks. Hell, upon closer examination, the cave art of Southwestern France probably has a tip for Grog, Gronk and the boys. It's pervasive. "Self-help" is the Ozempic of the masses. And the biggest problem with self-help is that it is designed to keep you from failing.
But failing is the key to success. I've yet to meet someone who can play a sport at the highest level without having failed at it. I mean, "Golf" spelled backwards is "F-A-I-L-U-R-E." After 50 years as a military officer, then as a progressively successful manufacturing and supply chain operations executive, I've fallen on my face dozens of times. Yeah, getting up and dusting yourself off is fine, but learning from your mistakes is so underrated, because I see, read about or otherwise countenance many so-called influencers daily who don't. And when these influencers are running the government, it's no wonder that we're making the same mistakes that our forebears made, and their forebears made, ad nauseam.
I've lived a life. I like to tell my students that I make more mistakes by 8am than most people make in a day. I'm the Edison of failure. I'm the poster boy of failure. Under the word "failure" in the dictionary...you get it. But that's the point. Nobody listens to me because I'm not a billionaire. I'm not flashy. I'm not famous, Tick-Tocky-famous, anyway.
No self-help book is going to help you. "Inspire" you, maybe. "Motivate" you? Possibly. But you have to get up each day, even when you don't want to, and do what you have to do. "Luck favors the prepared" is about the best I can do.
Whether Tim wrote it from the heart or tongue-in-cheek is irrelevant; you have to do what you have to do. Period.
Excellent Tim and as well as being absolutely correct in my experience, many of your points are very funny. The best piece of advice I was ever given was from a good friend who simply said "No victim shit please" when I was on yet another whinge about the hardships in my life. I was very angry but went home, thought on his words and started to work on me..... I have never looked back 😊
Great, common-sense advice. If you reading someone’s book for help, it is not self-help: it somebody’s else’s attempt to help you.
And your experience with the sanitizing editor’s offer to turn you into a ChatGPT clone reminds me of an anecdote from Dreyer’s English (great and entaining writing advice) where a pedantic copy-editor changed a famous thriller writer’s line, “Do you want to come in? he smiled, “ to: “Do you want to come in? he said, and smiled,” which resulted in an irate visit to the editor’s office by the author. (The same Grammar Nazi will probably correct me to say the visit cannot be ‘irate’- it should read, “… which resulted in a visit by the the irate author…” .)
Great line right there Tim 👇
"Everyone wants you to follow “the rules” so they can feel good about themselves. So they can make you conform and feel better about the bad decisions they’ve made."
Inconvenient truth...? The phrase and idea of "work-life" balance is Bullshit. It's all 'life'.
Think of it on a scale... what happens when we get too much 'life' and not enough 'work'... (flawed equation) and bullshit statement. ;)
Your first point in the article hits the nail on the head, Tim. I'm in my early 20s myself, and most of my generation have been spoon fed a glamorised version of reality. The result of this is that each of us are attached to a set of expectations about life, not realising that we can't just work a little hard in the hope that those expectations will come true because life is unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed. One should instead take complete ownership of the hell that life throws at them, with gratitude for what one already has, and be open to whatever fruits the future bears for taking full responsibility in the moment. Granted this thinking does involve faith in a higher power for me, but I'm convinced anyone who takes on this approach will come to agree with it. Life is hard and the whole point of it is to do your best with what comes your way. If you just do that and let go of your FOMO, then you're bound to have a fulfilling journey.
"People love labels because it let’s them outsource their failures to an unknown source that can’t be held accountable." This is it - we rely on labels as a part of our language model to make sense of the world. However, identifying with labels give us a sense of things being fixed and permanent, which problematic when we realise the world is constant flux.
A fantastic piece. Thanks Tim.
Wait. What? All those books, audios, mantras, not going to work?
100% agree. Only you can move you. Anything else will be short lived and temporary. Take the long road, the long game. Why race to the finish when the finish is the end? It's the long game that will free you and reward you, whatever you seek.
Tim, wtf? You will break the internet man! :)
Love the honesty at the beginning. Do you still get up at 4am?
I think that people should listen to these great truths. Imperfection and inconvenience are the natural lot of life.
Achievements, the glaring lights and quality can made with difficulty but we can be happy in the midst of inconveniences, as a a compensation for this inconvenience which we admited against our itself. A real mastery full of excitement and color!
There are only three people I listen to. First is Acharya Prashant, second is Shane Parrish and third is You. You three say the same things over and over. you people build my mind (daily) and teach me the right way to live. Unlike others you never show something shiny, filmy or golden.
Your first point made me laugh a little because its something I've been thinking about for a while now.
Nice, this message needs a label 'important' :)
u are unique. thoughtful and pretty amazing
One thing the younger generation needs to hear is that work/life balance is sh*t destroying their lives. It amazes me to hear complaints about putting in 10-hour workdays by 20-somethings (=those who've never really worked yet).