Last year I was on vacation in Thailand. Three weeks only for myself. My boss said, "Denis, when you're not here, you're not here. People have to live with it."
So one day I received a text message on WhatsApp from a colleague asking to please quickly read a research paper I was going to co-author. He'd sent me the paper per email. F*ck. I knew I didn't want to open the damn inbox but didn't want to make the colleague wait for several weeks.
I opened it and instantly regretted it - there were 90+ emails, at least 10% of which required my attention. I'll make an effort to stay the hell away from my email and WhatsApp next time I'm on vacation.
Great advice. We've allowed ourselves to be tyrannized by the permanent availability made possible by our new technologies. And mostly we've been doing it to ourselves. It's all too true that we to need to regain control over our time.
The first Monday I had 0-morning stand-up meetings - it felt weird, and liberating, then had an AHA moment "Why didn't I design my life to have 0 meetings in the morning SOONER." Then, gave myself grace, "Well, better late than later." The waiting-for-48-hours rule before responding to an email is what I'd start implementing. Insightful as always, Tim!
My phone has been on permanent Do Not Disturb for months. With only a few exceptions. E.g. Email notifications from my clients, SMS (I rarely get any except from my food deliveries), phone calls (I hang up on any unknown numbers), and banking apps that must send me verification notifications just to log in.
I'm on a ridiculous number of apps, countless groups, that it's untenable to have notifications on. Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm less responsive as a result. But I like that it trains people not to expect me to reply too fast, because I deserve my privacy and alone time. I don't have the courage to wait 48 hrs (unless I really don't care about them). But people often have to wait 12-24 hrs for me to reply, yes. XD
My sleep schedule is so late, that it probably irritates people even more (at least those in similar time zones to me.) But I've learned to shrug and get people to accept my lack of availability. That feels good that it gives off the impression of higher status and less desperation! :D
I love this perspective Tim. I am doing most of what you have written about and need to get better at tech free days. I say this as I sit here on a Sunday beside the pool catching up on articles I have not read via my mobile phone 😂
Excellent advice, Tim! When we reply too quickly to our clients, we train them to expect quicker and quicker turnarounds -- putting us right back onto the hamster wheel we left corporate life to get away from.
Yup. Started doing this 20-odd years ago. Always believed that just because we have the ability to instantly respond doesn't mean that we should. If I'm busy, I ain't answering. If I'm not, and depending on the type of work I'm doing, I might respond nearly instantly to a comment or note or whatever, but anyone who knows me or ends up working with me knows that's not to be expected.
Sadly, I'm not making 7 mil per year despite my early adoption of doing this. Sigh.
So much to agree with. The one that resonants the most is children in adult bodies. Everyday when someone has to be 'reminded' of the exchange of services (work: money - even if it sucks) is exhausting.
Great read! I don't have notifications on for any devices, but I generally leave my phone on. But after reading number 3, I'm going to assign favorites and turn it off. Thanks for the tip!
Last year I was on vacation in Thailand. Three weeks only for myself. My boss said, "Denis, when you're not here, you're not here. People have to live with it."
So one day I received a text message on WhatsApp from a colleague asking to please quickly read a research paper I was going to co-author. He'd sent me the paper per email. F*ck. I knew I didn't want to open the damn inbox but didn't want to make the colleague wait for several weeks.
I opened it and instantly regretted it - there were 90+ emails, at least 10% of which required my attention. I'll make an effort to stay the hell away from my email and WhatsApp next time I'm on vacation.
I love that you take the time to love (heart) your own work.
It's self-love.
A crucial lesson that I know you know based on your Substack. My path wasn’t much different than your path. But I wouldn’t change a thing.
Great advice. We've allowed ourselves to be tyrannized by the permanent availability made possible by our new technologies. And mostly we've been doing it to ourselves. It's all too true that we to need to regain control over our time.
The first Monday I had 0-morning stand-up meetings - it felt weird, and liberating, then had an AHA moment "Why didn't I design my life to have 0 meetings in the morning SOONER." Then, gave myself grace, "Well, better late than later." The waiting-for-48-hours rule before responding to an email is what I'd start implementing. Insightful as always, Tim!
My phone has been on permanent Do Not Disturb for months. With only a few exceptions. E.g. Email notifications from my clients, SMS (I rarely get any except from my food deliveries), phone calls (I hang up on any unknown numbers), and banking apps that must send me verification notifications just to log in.
I'm on a ridiculous number of apps, countless groups, that it's untenable to have notifications on. Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm less responsive as a result. But I like that it trains people not to expect me to reply too fast, because I deserve my privacy and alone time. I don't have the courage to wait 48 hrs (unless I really don't care about them). But people often have to wait 12-24 hrs for me to reply, yes. XD
My sleep schedule is so late, that it probably irritates people even more (at least those in similar time zones to me.) But I've learned to shrug and get people to accept my lack of availability. That feels good that it gives off the impression of higher status and less desperation! :D
I love this perspective Tim. I am doing most of what you have written about and need to get better at tech free days. I say this as I sit here on a Sunday beside the pool catching up on articles I have not read via my mobile phone 😂
Do subscribe me and I will subscribe you back 🔙.
Building a lifestyle that checks these boxes off is all that matters. I gotta get my sh!t together.
Excellent advice, Tim! When we reply too quickly to our clients, we train them to expect quicker and quicker turnarounds -- putting us right back onto the hamster wheel we left corporate life to get away from.
That’s a great read.
I am reading this post and suddenly I started checking my mails although i am on leave.
I really needed this post.
Love this post.
It's super easy to feel productive because you are busy but you are usually just running in circles.
Yup. Started doing this 20-odd years ago. Always believed that just because we have the ability to instantly respond doesn't mean that we should. If I'm busy, I ain't answering. If I'm not, and depending on the type of work I'm doing, I might respond nearly instantly to a comment or note or whatever, but anyone who knows me or ends up working with me knows that's not to be expected.
Sadly, I'm not making 7 mil per year despite my early adoption of doing this. Sigh.
Social media is as productive and as distracting.
Make sure you spend time with what matters the most.
God, family and your self.
a hold vs ahold
So much to agree with. The one that resonants the most is children in adult bodies. Everyday when someone has to be 'reminded' of the exchange of services (work: money - even if it sucks) is exhausting.
Great read! I don't have notifications on for any devices, but I generally leave my phone on. But after reading number 3, I'm going to assign favorites and turn it off. Thanks for the tip!