Absolutely. I participated in a local 5 km race three weeks ago. Because I was first among my colleagues last year, several people people asked me before the race if I'd be #1 again. It messed with my mind. I was a minute slower this time. My mouth went completely dry just before the race. Running with a dry mouth was a pain. And I understand it comes from the pressure.
Tim, Tim, Tim. You had me until the ‘woke’ shit. It just revealed way too much about your actual relationship to others. I’ve not yet met someone with much emotional intelligence or empathy who would use that word.
Going down that rabbit hole of condemning people for caring about others is … disgusting? You should know better if you want to help 100,000 people. By calling others woke, you’ve dog whistled the wrong audience. You’ve joined a movement of ‘poor white men’ who think they are disadvantaged because of it.
Here’s another poor white man who doesn’t agree. You and I are not disadvantaged by that. We can’t get ahead because there’s no one to get ahead of. We’re still in the lead.
I too am obsessed. I’ve been on your list until recently, more or less seeing your point. But there’s a lot of stuff to read man, and I’m really not inclined to tolerate vapid advice given by someone without empathy. Oh, you do love other people? Step up and prove it. Knock it off with this anti-woke crap and wake the fuck up.
Nailed it Eddie. I don't pick sides because the world isn't black and white. Anyone trying to dumb as down to that is manipulating us for their gain. I explore both sides of a debate, especially with people I disagree with.
It's less about the "woke" movement and more about people being sick of virtue signalling done for profit rather than care. As I wrote, I don't have a firm view on this movement. I sit in the middle. Same with elections. I'm not Blue or Red. I'm neither. There's a bigger conversation than that.
I also didn't liked that part where he mentions BS things most people are obsessed over. But, it depends on how you define obsession and in which context you use that word. Some people, women specially are really obsessed with housework and clean house, that can be true. But, as you stated in your comment, condemning people for caring about others is stupid. Being part of elections or check the information about wars in Europe isn't obsession if you ask me. It's caring, is someone wants to know about that, it's not BS. Of course, you can be obsessed about it, but majority people isn't obsessed about that. They just want to stay informed and maybe help by donating or something like that.
Well, I agree with you. Didn't you read "They just want to stay informed and maybe help by donating or something like that" part of my comment? But we don't know who's doing, who's not and why they are doing and why not. Let people be, if they are not harming you. And sharing something on social media can also be spreading awareness about some issues we can act upon.
There's a fine dividing line between passion at full tilt and obsession. During Covid I taught myself how to trade. I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. A rollercoaster ride. While I was on benefits, because my work had dried up. Crazy. But I was obsessed. Waking at 3 am every other day to check my trades. Gawking at the red numbers spinning out of control, my heart pounding, cold sweat breaking out down my back. Why do I do this to myself? I would ask myself. But I knew the answer. I was obsessed.
This obsession has begun to pay off. Just as well, right? Somehow I turned drawdown to consistent profits, scary mornings to calm mornings. But at its worst, my obsession with trading was impacting some of the people I loved. My ex was going through some kind of hormonally fuelled mental breakdown three years ago and I was so exhausted from trading, I was often not up to the task of helping her through it. There have been times when I've wondered if my abiding obsessions as a trader and a writer cost me that relationship. Rather like leverage, obsession is a double-edged sword.
Like your post. It's all about balance. Staying human, not loosing ourself in forcefully created longterm goals. That's how many of us got childhood abuse symptoms, which show in trying hard to lash out, ignoring our bodies and others.
Your words about obsession are inspirational. I write everyday but I haven't published my journal online. On the other hand I have had 400 letters to the editor published, about half in The New York Times. I also am pursuing a legal claim which requires obsession and using my lawyer skills. I worked in investment banking early in my career so I understand your perspective. Just want to thank you for your writing and how it reinforces my commitment to my quest. Steve Ludsin East Hampton, New York
I would add that this does not mean you do nothing else. You still may need to exercise, cook, clean, have a relationship and spend time with kids if you have them. What it means is you do those with the same mindset so you can get on with your obsession. You get obsessed with the best diet for you, the best exercise plan etc. Thanks Tim
You're absolutely right, Mike! Take me for example. I'm a full-time Homeschooling mom of 4 and for years I neglected myself, and always put others first. 3 years ago it hit me just how unhealthy that was for me, and it awakened in me the need to take better care of myself. And so the obsession with my personal development and self-discovery began. That awakening, however, didn't make all my other responsibilities go away! I still needed to show up as a wife, mom, daughter, sibling, friend etc...So it has been and still is a juggling act. I try to show up the best I can in my different roles, but still make time for obsession. This means early mornings and late nights because for most of my day, I'm trying to be as present as I can be for my family and others that I care about who need my attention.
I am the person who e'mailed you recently about how you've motivated me to finally launch my own scrappy theatre company after thinking about it for too long. So on June 25 & 26 I received the following 3 messages: 1) sounds like you're rushing into this -- why not wait until you have all the details figured out before making the leap, 2) this project seems awfully ambitious for you -- are you sure you want to start with something this complex? and the one that cut the deepest though it was not directed at me specifically but was still related to me in reference to this potential new company: 3) maybe 2024 is not the moment when middle-aged white women need to be telling stories... So on the night of June 26th I went to sleep both disheartened and confused. Maybe they are right, maybe I'm being too ambitious, maybe I shouldn't be putting my voice out there, etc etc etc. Then I wake up to your e'mail. And since we are all starring in our own movies, I will of course assume you wrote it FOR me. :) Your post addressed every one of those challenges and so many more. AND as I said in my e'mail, the way you talk about obsession resonates with me deeply so the post was like getting a booster shot when my obsessive anti-bodies needed some support. You're a rockstar!
Tim, are you familiar with Cal Newport's new book "Slow Productivity"? It seems to me that being some form of "Slow, Productive, Obsession" is the way to really live well for the good of others and the glory of God. Thoughts?
Maybe??? I’m working on my own post about how I think his book is about crafting a lifestyle that supports the obsession you’re encouraging. The title might be something like Slow, Seasonal, Productive Obsession.
Nah, one day you'll wake up from your movie and you will have lost your true identity. It's incredibly stupid to just dismiss every critic because "they just don't get it". I agree with some of what you write, but it is definitely no way to happiness
Just show up has been a mantra for me for a long time, going in 30 years. I’m looking at that with new eyes now. Persistence and slow, steady progress has been a wha of life. Obsession less so. Much to consider!
"Every battle in life is fought in the mind."
I need to remember the quote. Love your posts on obsession, Tim.
Cheers Denis. Is your mental toughness on track?
I'm working on it :)
That’s a great quote Denis and one that’s so true. It reminds me off Sencas’s quote:
“We suffer more in our imagination than reality”
Absolutely. I participated in a local 5 km race three weeks ago. Because I was first among my colleagues last year, several people people asked me before the race if I'd be #1 again. It messed with my mind. I was a minute slower this time. My mouth went completely dry just before the race. Running with a dry mouth was a pain. And I understand it comes from the pressure.
Expectations are toxic, aren't they?
They are, Tim.
That's true
Tim, Tim, Tim. You had me until the ‘woke’ shit. It just revealed way too much about your actual relationship to others. I’ve not yet met someone with much emotional intelligence or empathy who would use that word.
Going down that rabbit hole of condemning people for caring about others is … disgusting? You should know better if you want to help 100,000 people. By calling others woke, you’ve dog whistled the wrong audience. You’ve joined a movement of ‘poor white men’ who think they are disadvantaged because of it.
Here’s another poor white man who doesn’t agree. You and I are not disadvantaged by that. We can’t get ahead because there’s no one to get ahead of. We’re still in the lead.
I too am obsessed. I’ve been on your list until recently, more or less seeing your point. But there’s a lot of stuff to read man, and I’m really not inclined to tolerate vapid advice given by someone without empathy. Oh, you do love other people? Step up and prove it. Knock it off with this anti-woke crap and wake the fuck up.
Yours truly
Count me in as another “poor white man” who agrees with James. LOVE your writing Tim but c’mon man!
It's an experimental idea. You won't love everything I say which is part of the point.
That’s not how I read it - instead he might be apathetic to woke culture and the nuances of it?
Nailed it Eddie. I don't pick sides because the world isn't black and white. Anyone trying to dumb as down to that is manipulating us for their gain. I explore both sides of a debate, especially with people I disagree with.
It's less about the "woke" movement and more about people being sick of virtue signalling done for profit rather than care. As I wrote, I don't have a firm view on this movement. I sit in the middle. Same with elections. I'm not Blue or Red. I'm neither. There's a bigger conversation than that.
I also didn't liked that part where he mentions BS things most people are obsessed over. But, it depends on how you define obsession and in which context you use that word. Some people, women specially are really obsessed with housework and clean house, that can be true. But, as you stated in your comment, condemning people for caring about others is stupid. Being part of elections or check the information about wars in Europe isn't obsession if you ask me. It's caring, is someone wants to know about that, it's not BS. Of course, you can be obsessed about it, but majority people isn't obsessed about that. They just want to stay informed and maybe help by donating or something like that.
What's the point of telling social media you "care" if you do nothing about it? That's the gripe.
Well, I agree with you. Didn't you read "They just want to stay informed and maybe help by donating or something like that" part of my comment? But we don't know who's doing, who's not and why they are doing and why not. Let people be, if they are not harming you. And sharing something on social media can also be spreading awareness about some issues we can act upon.
I don't know how you do it. Your posts always charge me so I want to run back to my desk and start writing another story.
Sorry, Tim. I actually know how you do that. You're obsessed.
You nailed it Denis. Nothing special about me at all.
There's a fine dividing line between passion at full tilt and obsession. During Covid I taught myself how to trade. I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. A rollercoaster ride. While I was on benefits, because my work had dried up. Crazy. But I was obsessed. Waking at 3 am every other day to check my trades. Gawking at the red numbers spinning out of control, my heart pounding, cold sweat breaking out down my back. Why do I do this to myself? I would ask myself. But I knew the answer. I was obsessed.
This obsession has begun to pay off. Just as well, right? Somehow I turned drawdown to consistent profits, scary mornings to calm mornings. But at its worst, my obsession with trading was impacting some of the people I loved. My ex was going through some kind of hormonally fuelled mental breakdown three years ago and I was so exhausted from trading, I was often not up to the task of helping her through it. There have been times when I've wondered if my abiding obsessions as a trader and a writer cost me that relationship. Rather like leverage, obsession is a double-edged sword.
I feel like most people should trade because it's basically gambling. Don't worry, I feel for this too.
Like your post. It's all about balance. Staying human, not loosing ourself in forcefully created longterm goals. That's how many of us got childhood abuse symptoms, which show in trying hard to lash out, ignoring our bodies and others.
First article in a bit I read from start to finish Tim, loved it!!
Thank you!
What made you do that Chris?
Your words about obsession are inspirational. I write everyday but I haven't published my journal online. On the other hand I have had 400 letters to the editor published, about half in The New York Times. I also am pursuing a legal claim which requires obsession and using my lawyer skills. I worked in investment banking early in my career so I understand your perspective. Just want to thank you for your writing and how it reinforces my commitment to my quest. Steve Ludsin East Hampton, New York
Why not publish it Steven?
Damn that’s what I was aiming for that crowd I thought that because I don’t match those standards is the reason I’m not making progress.
I’m much more the opposite. Only my cancer was the self-inflicted, drug abuse type.
I wrote about it the whole way though. From head girl in high school to homeless addict in an alley.
And facing the streets yet again in August. Although I’m working on that. And it will teach me more, and there’ll be another chapter.
Every chapter is earned.
Peak Obsession 🏴
Obsession isn’t just showing up. It’s doing nothing else.
Obsession is unhealthy. Obsession is psychopathic. Because mediocrity is the default that runs the world.
Obsession is an early grave. Wake up to obsession before obsession wakes up to you.
Obsession is a 10x way of life.
Obsession has no plan B.
Obsession kills your old life/self. You can’t go back.
Obsession isn’t hustle culture. It’s a cult.
Be obsessed or be obsolete.
Much love!
Moderation is key, obsession for a while works wonders.
After that the law of averages catch up…
I disagree. You become average if you don't chase obsession.
I would add that this does not mean you do nothing else. You still may need to exercise, cook, clean, have a relationship and spend time with kids if you have them. What it means is you do those with the same mindset so you can get on with your obsession. You get obsessed with the best diet for you, the best exercise plan etc. Thanks Tim
80/20 rule applies here.
You're absolutely right, Mike! Take me for example. I'm a full-time Homeschooling mom of 4 and for years I neglected myself, and always put others first. 3 years ago it hit me just how unhealthy that was for me, and it awakened in me the need to take better care of myself. And so the obsession with my personal development and self-discovery began. That awakening, however, didn't make all my other responsibilities go away! I still needed to show up as a wife, mom, daughter, sibling, friend etc...So it has been and still is a juggling act. I try to show up the best I can in my different roles, but still make time for obsession. This means early mornings and late nights because for most of my day, I'm trying to be as present as I can be for my family and others that I care about who need my attention.
I needed this exact post at this exact moment. Thank you.
How so?
I am the person who e'mailed you recently about how you've motivated me to finally launch my own scrappy theatre company after thinking about it for too long. So on June 25 & 26 I received the following 3 messages: 1) sounds like you're rushing into this -- why not wait until you have all the details figured out before making the leap, 2) this project seems awfully ambitious for you -- are you sure you want to start with something this complex? and the one that cut the deepest though it was not directed at me specifically but was still related to me in reference to this potential new company: 3) maybe 2024 is not the moment when middle-aged white women need to be telling stories... So on the night of June 26th I went to sleep both disheartened and confused. Maybe they are right, maybe I'm being too ambitious, maybe I shouldn't be putting my voice out there, etc etc etc. Then I wake up to your e'mail. And since we are all starring in our own movies, I will of course assume you wrote it FOR me. :) Your post addressed every one of those challenges and so many more. AND as I said in my e'mail, the way you talk about obsession resonates with me deeply so the post was like getting a booster shot when my obsessive anti-bodies needed some support. You're a rockstar!
Same here
how come?
I recently read two books that talks about obsession and you may know one of the authors.
10X is Easier than 2X - Dan Sullivan & Ben Hardy
The Art of Focus - Dan Koe
I'm not about slow and steadily because I get bored and disengaged. And it doesn't work for ADHD minds.
So I d' rather be obsessed and jump higher than growing linearly.
Ben and Dan are both friends. What did they teach you?
Tim, are you familiar with Cal Newport's new book "Slow Productivity"? It seems to me that being some form of "Slow, Productive, Obsession" is the way to really live well for the good of others and the glory of God. Thoughts?
I've heard of the book. Should i read it?
Maybe??? I’m working on my own post about how I think his book is about crafting a lifestyle that supports the obsession you’re encouraging. The title might be something like Slow, Seasonal, Productive Obsession.
Excellent Tim.
This is a really kick in the ass.
Are you going to do something with it Lasisi?
Yes Tim. I gotta do something. In fact, I have already started.
Love it
Nah, one day you'll wake up from your movie and you will have lost your true identity. It's incredibly stupid to just dismiss every critic because "they just don't get it". I agree with some of what you write, but it is definitely no way to happiness
You're not supposed to agree with everything I write Eb. Agree?
This was swift kick in the pants and a neon bright dose of whole new way of looking at things. Thank you, Tim.
Why do you think that?
Just show up has been a mantra for me for a long time, going in 30 years. I’m looking at that with new eyes now. Persistence and slow, steady progress has been a wha of life. Obsession less so. Much to consider!