I hate it when people ramble on. We need a few sentences to make most of our points. I, personally, don’t speak longer than half a minute. It also makes me uncomfortable to waste others’ time with my stuff.
Just don't do it in a meeting with Elon Musk. I read an interview about him once and if you don't say things and "add value", he asks why are you there and then tells you to leave.
Elon Musk is an interesting character. Not totally sure how I feel about him. But, there are many who are huge fans of his and like to follow his advice. So, there will be many who now believe if you "don't add value" to a meeting that you shouldn't be there. It promotes more of a competition, fear based type of meeting needing to be noticed because if you're not, you may lose your job.
I don't think quiet people or critical thinkers are valued in today's environment. I might even go as far to say that any real "thinking" is actively discouraged. People are being told what to think and silenced or shamed if they don't follow group think. Controlling the masses and controlling the narrative is the goal which means silencing the thinkers. Any critical thinking is a threat to that agenda.
And sometimes no one will say anything and it’s like the climax of The Good The Bad And The Ugly with Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, & Lee Van Cleef eyeing each other off.
I definitely felt this. Often when I've started a new role, I sometimes come across as "quiet," or perhaps not as social, but it's mainly to "read the room," and then proceed to open up from there. Great take.
I've been in those meeting too. The talker won't shut up and the other people (who surely must have been invited for a reason) don't get a word in.
Or, the boss only listens to the one who talks loudly and confidently, even when they are repeating what someone else has said (usually what a woman has just said, don't get me started).
If organization ran meetings properly, this wouldn't happen.
Meetings should have:
- An agenda so people can prepare what they want to say in advance
- A chairperson who makes sure everyone gets a chance to speak
- A set start time, to make sure you don't waste time waiting for latecomers
- A time-keeper to make sure you stick to time
- Ground rules so that people who interrupt or don't stick to the point can be reigned in.
Granted, all this is more challenging when a client is in the meeting, but you can still train people what to do if a client does something that isn't productive.
For example, I was once coaching a talented young woman on how to improve her professional image. She was in her late twenties, but she looked about sixteen.
Great for her skin, not so great for her career.
When she presented meetings to the client, the client ignored her and kept looking at her boss for answers and comments.
Her boss was flummoxed too. He wanted her to get credit and recognition for her work and the chance to impress the client.
We worked out a strategy. When the client asked him a question, he would simply state that it was this young woman's project, and she was best placed to answer.
Through whispers and watching, listening and learning, the quiet reshape meetings. While others seek dominance, they seek depth, turning words into understanding and observation into action. Their restraint isn’t weakness but discipline. The quiet carry the weight of wisdom while others wield words. Greatness often speaks not with volume but with vision.
I learned, over the course of many years, to sit back and listen in meetings. What I found to be true was when I did choose to speak, everyone quieted down to hear what I had to say because they knew it would be a valuable addition. It is an easy way to gain the respect of your peers & upper management
“It's all about tuning out the noise, tuning out all the stuff that simply doesn't move the game forward - the doubt, the personal agendas, the often deafening fear of judgment and the need to please - so that you can ultimately get to that place of quiet, of calm, where you can focus on what really matters” Bonnie Hammer
Its the Dunning-Kruger effect. The loud people know just enough about a topic to think that they know everything. The quiet people know more about the topic and therefore are humbled in the face of reality.
Assessing the degree of quietness on a topic is a heuristic for determining who has the most knowledge.
I hate it when people ramble on. We need a few sentences to make most of our points. I, personally, don’t speak longer than half a minute. It also makes me uncomfortable to waste others’ time with my stuff.
Concise people are my favorite Denis
We had two 30-minute meetings just to emphasize that, moving forward, the manager must approve every email sent to external parties!
The manager is an expert in wasting people’s time.
Nailed it
Bad manager. Where did they find them?
Just don't do it in a meeting with Elon Musk. I read an interview about him once and if you don't say things and "add value", he asks why are you there and then tells you to leave.
Sounds horrible. Are you a fan of his?
Elon Musk is an interesting character. Not totally sure how I feel about him. But, there are many who are huge fans of his and like to follow his advice. So, there will be many who now believe if you "don't add value" to a meeting that you shouldn't be there. It promotes more of a competition, fear based type of meeting needing to be noticed because if you're not, you may lose your job.
I don't think quiet people or critical thinkers are valued in today's environment. I might even go as far to say that any real "thinking" is actively discouraged. People are being told what to think and silenced or shamed if they don't follow group think. Controlling the masses and controlling the narrative is the goal which means silencing the thinkers. Any critical thinking is a threat to that agenda.
Here is a list of the Corporate wannabes. Feel free to add to this list😁
1. The Jargon Junkie
2. The Contradictor
3. The Overcompensating Know-It-All
4. The Mistake Magnifier
5. The Distracted Multitasker
6. The Perpetual Devil’s Advocate
7. The Overzealous Note-Taker
8. The Silent Observer
9. The Agenda Hijacker
10. The Endless Reiterator
11. The Ego-Driven Monologuer
12. The Echo Chamber Junior
Best list. Can you post this on LinkedIn?
Feel free to post it on LinkedIn. There will be hurt feelings if I post😁
Is this when I should shut up? OK fine.
Haha you can talk
Yes.
And sometimes no one will say anything and it’s like the climax of The Good The Bad And The Ugly with Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, & Lee Van Cleef eyeing each other off.
And. Learn to ask questions properly: https://tempo.substack.com/p/how-to-ask-a-question
I need to go watch that movie, do I?
It’s a bloody classic, Tim. Altho if you can’t be arsed: https://youtu.be/f0-rb4QQlp0?si=4jzaRq13vGO6E9KJ
“Seek first to understand, then be understood.”
People like this line for some reason.
I definitely felt this. Often when I've started a new role, I sometimes come across as "quiet," or perhaps not as social, but it's mainly to "read the room," and then proceed to open up from there. Great take.
Seems like a strength to me.
I appreciate your content! Thank you for your work. ☺️
No probs
First you are to shy to talk.
Then you are comfortable and talk a lot.
Then you become wise and listen a lot.
If you speak late or last you know the conversation and atmosphere in the room and can use that as a platform for your short message to get through.
But most important is to read the people in the room.
If there is big egos in the room I choose my words.
If it’s an inclusive person there I choose other words, and so on to get, not my point, but the best solution to the meeting.
If I’m not sure about to talk or not I stay quiet, observe and learn. Remember, everybody wants people to listen to them.
I've been in those meeting too. The talker won't shut up and the other people (who surely must have been invited for a reason) don't get a word in.
Or, the boss only listens to the one who talks loudly and confidently, even when they are repeating what someone else has said (usually what a woman has just said, don't get me started).
If organization ran meetings properly, this wouldn't happen.
Meetings should have:
- An agenda so people can prepare what they want to say in advance
- A chairperson who makes sure everyone gets a chance to speak
- A set start time, to make sure you don't waste time waiting for latecomers
- A time-keeper to make sure you stick to time
- Ground rules so that people who interrupt or don't stick to the point can be reigned in.
Granted, all this is more challenging when a client is in the meeting, but you can still train people what to do if a client does something that isn't productive.
For example, I was once coaching a talented young woman on how to improve her professional image. She was in her late twenties, but she looked about sixteen.
Great for her skin, not so great for her career.
When she presented meetings to the client, the client ignored her and kept looking at her boss for answers and comments.
Her boss was flummoxed too. He wanted her to get credit and recognition for her work and the chance to impress the client.
We worked out a strategy. When the client asked him a question, he would simply state that it was this young woman's project, and she was best placed to answer.
As an introvert, I always thought I was lesser because I didn't speak much.
I was always in awe of people talking freely (and a lot).
But with experience, I found out those are usually the most insecure.
Thank you, Tim, for writing about it!
Introversion and being quiet need more awareness.
It's one of the reasons I write my newsletter: helping quiet people thrive in this loud world.
Through whispers and watching, listening and learning, the quiet reshape meetings. While others seek dominance, they seek depth, turning words into understanding and observation into action. Their restraint isn’t weakness but discipline. The quiet carry the weight of wisdom while others wield words. Greatness often speaks not with volume but with vision.
I learned, over the course of many years, to sit back and listen in meetings. What I found to be true was when I did choose to speak, everyone quieted down to hear what I had to say because they knew it would be a valuable addition. It is an easy way to gain the respect of your peers & upper management
“It's all about tuning out the noise, tuning out all the stuff that simply doesn't move the game forward - the doubt, the personal agendas, the often deafening fear of judgment and the need to please - so that you can ultimately get to that place of quiet, of calm, where you can focus on what really matters” Bonnie Hammer
Its the Dunning-Kruger effect. The loud people know just enough about a topic to think that they know everything. The quiet people know more about the topic and therefore are humbled in the face of reality.
Assessing the degree of quietness on a topic is a heuristic for determining who has the most knowledge.
I've sat through many meetings that fit your description perfectly Tim!
After spending 15 years at an investment company, all that I remember about these weekly meetings was the person who couldn't stop talking.
Even if you wanted to say something, it was tough to get a word in.
So, I was mostly a quiet person, something I don't regret.