Realities of Life People Just Don't Want to Accept

Wisdom so powerful, you'll never think the same again

Tim Denning

Dec 07, 2023

103

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My “Fast Food Approach” to getting new readers, subscribers, and customers
Why a cute lil fashion influencer got nearly 3 million followers… but only sold 26 T SHIRTS!
How I could have wasted 1,880,847 views from Medium last August
The only 5 types of relationships you can have with a person. (Type 1 sounds good, but is actually the worst)

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Yesterday I couldn’t breathe.

My chest started to ache uncontrollably. There were times when I thought I might suffocate. My wife became worried. My 1 year old daughter knew something was wrong.

My parents called me to check in. They became worried too.

I didn’t know what the hell was happening. I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve never been so sick. I told my wife “This is the worst moment in the last 5 years. I feel like I’m going to cry.”

What’s the reality I refused to accept?

That I was overcome by extreme stress. I didn’t want to admit it. But it’s true. This week I’ve had to go to court and deal with the police. Anything you say or do can land you in jail.

Then I got a letter saying I could be sued for every dollar I have because I dared make a complaint about a public organization. It’s been a whirlwind.

There’s some fear, I’m not gonna lie. Thankfully, I am on the right side of the law. But the stress nonetheless is incredible and I didn’t expect it.

Learning to accept the harsh realities of life is important. Otherwise, you lie to yourself and that can land you in a world of pain like it did for me yesterday.

Here are some realities of life people just don’t want to accept.

You’re not as important as you think you are

Today on a live masterclass I asked why people don’t make money online.

I got a common answer from participants I didn’t expect: I’m afraid of fame. The idea you might become famous is a lie sold by Hollywood. No matter how hard you try, the reality is you probably won’t become famous.

The mathematical chances you become famous are like 0.00000001%. If everyone was famous then the word “famous” would become redundant.

Fame is a nightmare. You lose your privacy. But the idea you should aim small in life to avoid fame is strange.

If money is a problem, then it’s how you think about money that is the problem

This might make a few people mad.

Ohhh well. Money problems have nothing to do with your boss, employer, society, a lack of opportunities, or a recession.

How you think determines how much money you make. If money is a problem then you are the problem. It’s your money beliefs that are sabotaging you.

I say this because it’s exactly the way I used to be. I was so focused on getting a discount or screwing people in business deals, I ruined opportunities that people ten times dumber than me got because they were honest.

Money is everywhere. If you have an internet connection you have access to billions of people. If you can’t find a way to make money then something is wrong.

Perhaps your ego is in the way
Perhaps you’re overcomplicating it
Perhaps you’re too skeptical about everything
Perhaps you’re an a**hole and no one wants to work with you

One way to upgrade your money mindset is to read books like The Psychology of Money. Another way is to join a community or mastermind of people who have a good money mindset and let it rub off on you. Or you can read the work of writers like me who will reprogram your money mind with every essay published.

Just don’t sit there and think the world is unfair or everything is going to sh*t and there’s no money for anyone.

Making decent money is hard. Being broke is harder.

Most people will show you zero compassion or empathy

The crazy public organization (that’s my neighbor) continues its tirade.

I made a statement in court on the impact they’re having on me and my neighbors. We have small kids wearing ear muffs to bed because of their noise.

Their response? Nothing.

No compassion. No empathy. Yet they say they are a community organization that does so much good for the community.

We hate to hear this…but most people will give you zero compassion when you talk about a big problem in your life.

Expecting people to care is the real problem. Being frustrated when you find out they don’t care is even worse.

Once you know most people are selfish it’s freeing. Because you realize the world isn’t paying attention to you and you’ll have to fight for your rights.

This has been a great reminder for me this week.

Who cares if my kid has to wear ear muffs to bed and her brain development shrinks because she can’t sleep, thanks to some fat bastard who wants to sing just one more ~ I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more.

People won’t care. You have to make them care.

Big changes are full of fear but avoiding them equals regrets

Whenever I talk to a potential client about working with me, without fail every one of them mentions a fear.

They expect me to hear their fear and say “Okay, you’re right. If it’s scary then don’t do it.” Or “Don’t worry I can make all the fear go away.”

Wanting fear to go away is stupid.

Fear exists for a reason. You can’t get rid of it. It’s like saying you don’t want the heart in your chest to beat because the sound is annoying. Bad luck. No heart beating equals cardiac arrest, followed by death.

Fear is an opportunity. It’s energy. You want to feel fear because it’s a sign of future growth. Humans need certainty and uncertainty. If we’re certain about everything and have no fear then we become bored. Every day feels like Groundhog Day.

This is what a lot office workers experience. They’re unhappy deep down and they can’t figure out why. Their lack of fear is the cause and they can’t see it.

Fear is oxygen. Fear is the same as blood in your veins. Don’t avoid fear, use it.

You’ll experience people looking like they do good rather than doing good

Elon Musk reminded me of this (love him or hate him).

Social media is full of corporations and leaders trying to look like they do good rather than doing good. In some cases they pretend to be good while being pure evil.

This is known as virtue signaling.

“Look at me Dino, I changed my profile pic to a country flag I know nothing about because I care about their suffering.”

I accept this reality. People want to use other people’s pain to increase their own status. It’s human nature. The lesson here is don’t be fooled by it. When Joe Schmo pretends to care about a foreign war just know he’s probably bullsh*ting.

It’s not happening in his backyard, so he can carry on drinking cans of beer and relaxing in the sun.

In your life, do some good rather than look good. That’s the best you can do.

99% of people offer fake help, not real help

When I told people I got fired in 2019 I got emails like this:

“Sorry to hear Tim. Let me know if I can do anything for you.”

It sounds nice but it’s fake help. The offer isn’t sincere or specific. They didn’t say “Let me ask my employer if they have any jobs going.” Or “let me know if you need some money for rent while you get back on your feet.”

Being specific with help means the giver is more likely to have to deliver on their offer which is what they don’t want. So they keep it vague so the offer isn’t appealing to say yes to. You can’t change this reality but you can do better in your life.

Help people who need help. What you get back in return might surprise you.

It’s you against you

I love to think of life as a video game.

Too many people see their life as a video game full of other players they label competitors. But there’s a flaw in their reality.

"The greatest battle of all is with yourself—your weaknesses, your emotions, your lack of resolution in seeing things through to the end. You must declare unceasing war on yourself”
– RobertGreene

People don’t want to admit they are their own worst enemy. They refuse to see they are the problem.

I’ve found once you make yourself the source of all problems and the bottleneck to their resolution, life gets a whole lot easier. It gives you back control. You can remove external circumstances and make new decisions to get back on track.

Stop standing in the path of your success.

Tragedy is hard-coded into human DNA

When tragedy happens don’t be surprised or blame yourself.

You were born into a world where people around you will die for the stupidest or smallest reasons. Prepare mentally for the next tragedy and you’ll do better once it comes. We all have aging parents or friends. One of them could die at any moment.

Rather than go into meltdown mode, go into the mindset of “This was inevitable and I’m glad I had the time I did have with them.”

If you’re expecting no suffering or you can’t handle people dying, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Doesn’t make the bad news go away. But it does help it make more sense and heal the internal bleeding faster.

Life has more meaning in the face of death

Sometimes I want people to almost die.

Not in a mean way though. When someone faces a near-death experience they finally wake the f*ck up. They’re forced to start again and suddenly they have newfound meaning. That’s what happened to me.

I had a near-death experience with cancer and thought it was all over. But someone upstairs reversed the bad luck and gave me a second chance. From that day on I haven’t wasted a single minute. And I don’t give a crap about small stuff anymore.

Everyone should almost die at least once and be reborn.

“When you are dead, you do not know you are dead”

(Mark Manson)

There’s zero warning. You can’t prepare. When you go from consciousness to an eternity of nothingness, it puts things into perspective.

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