“You’ll experience people looking like they do good rather than doing good.”
Such a good quote.
Re the topic of most people offering vague help to avoid help:
I truly believe most people that actually know you to some degree truly would be happy to help. They just don’t know how to help. It is a skillset that many could learn to develop.
I’ve found once you make yourself the source of all problems and the bottleneck to their resolution, life gets a whole lot easier. It gives you back control. - GOLD!
Thank you Nadia. Comments like yours keep me going. I'm a big boy and won't let one adversity knock me down. This is how strength is built, but it must be under pressure.
The near death experience explains why people who take mushrooms or LCD or Salvia get rid of their addiction. They get to see the "real life." Intense pain can also achieve this. I went through a depression in 2019 and came out a different person. I simply didn't give a shit about others opinions because I saw how short life is.
Shit, if I take ayahuasca and live for 30 years in an alternate life and come back to realize I've been hallucinating for 5 minutes I would question the bases of reality. I would be open to the possibility that there's more to life than what's visible to the naked eye.
I absolutely hate the flag profile picture switch. Call me an ass but I’ve asked friends and family why they do that and most of them said it’s because “it’s what everyone else is doing.”
Insane.
Thanks for another great read. Hope you’re doing well. Stay sane and healthy, we need you around.
The Psychology of Money is such a good book. Got serious about money during the pandemic. There was nothing left to do. Young me had no idea what investing was. All i was taught to do was to save and get a good job but, I started thinking this can't be the only way to get wealthy.
“When you are dead, you do not know you are dead”. This was so powerful because, it's not something your going to be aware. It actually makes me think like where are we right now and why are we here. It can get very technical when you sit down and just think about life.
Saving money and doing it with a job is how you lose. The system is designed to make that path to wealth very limited. Until people understand how currency loses value and is taxed by inflation, they'll continuing getting paid in this currency and having the chance at wealth taken away from them.
It's crazy to think about it like that. Most of everything that was designed hurts the average person because there not aware of how bad their situation is.
Sincerely wish you all the best with the legal stuff, mate. And with the "community" organisation. Such fckwits around, it's amazing sometimes. Have appreciated the stoic wisdom to expect them, but still sucks when the pain is right at your doorstep. Hope it resolves.
Hey Tim, sorry for the slow reply. My dad's been in a somewhat serious surgery and is still in ICU. He's doing well but it's been a long and very tiring 24 hours. The reason I say that in the context of your question is because - as you know better than most - attention and time is so finite and in certain circumstances perspective is a helluva medicine.
I believe that there are some games you can only not lose by opting out of playing, and trying to 'deal with' such white knights might be one of those games. As I said though, I appreciate it doesn't help if they're literally in your face and aggravating you - you can't just keep turning a blind eye or the other cheek. And you shouldn't have to physically move because of someone else's awfulness.
Whilst I can give you tips for your situation from the very little I understand of it, you probably already know them and I wouldn't be surprised if you've implemented them - like install security cameras with audio around your place, keep an incident journal for a while, consider using your platforms to name-and-shame (depending on legal advice and safety considerations) etc.
I can offer some spiritual and psychological tips though. I apologise in advance if any of this sounds condescending or patronising. Definitely not my intent.
- Remember (hell, meditate on even!) that almost everyone you meet is a sum of their inherited belief system and architecture + social conditioning + cognitive capability to hold diverse and divergent concepts simultaneously. When someone cuts you off in traffic, you can choose to believe they're insensitive bastards, or you can choose to believe that you can't be sure and maybe they had some personal emergency or just made an ignorant mistake. This can happen at scale. So if you come across narrow-minded mono-thinkers that happen to believe things that piss you off and behave accordingly, one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself is splash some cool compassion in your face and try to move on with your day as quickly as possible, rather than trying to make sense of the fuck-wittery. If you want to do this on hard-mode, trying loving-kindness meditation. If that's not your jam, then gamify winning against them by seeing how little of a damn you can give day by day.
- Think about how you want your daughter to grow up and respond to so-called white knights that claim to only do good? How affected do you want her to be by such people? How much responsibility do you want her to take on for dealing with such people? How aggressive or compassionate do you want her to be? Etc. etc. You're already one of her main role-models, man. Start modelling.
- Find or create bigger problems. I obviously know - through your public profiles and webinar (which I finally did catch a replay of!) - that you're a successful dude and can imagine you have reasonable ambitions that go beyond dealing with annoying, stupid people. But maybe it's not enough. You might need bigger problems to put things into perspective, and hopefully not be waiting for a loved one to be in hospital in a serious or uncertain condition. The bigger problem(s) could simply be a relatively bigger personal, community or humanity level problem you want to contribute to solving that motivates you enough to be able to move on from any urge to deal with white knights quickly and get back to your more important mission. I find it helps foster a deep, genuine psychological mindset of, "Damn this is so annoying but I ain't got time for this shit."
I don't know if any of that helps at all man. A short while ago I wrote this article on my Substack called "Celebrating gratitude" and sometimes I have this self-doubt that it's insincere because I wrote it at a time when I wasn't facing as difficult circumstances as I have or could. But I guess that's the challenge some of us take on of trying to set a stronger baseline of resilience so we have more choice in what we can deal with and consistently choose to deal with things that we deem more important, and from a positive and optimistic place.
In any case, really wish you and the family all the best with it.
Two aspects where I can relate --a little at least: our noise mostly affects me but worrisome-- two people on various sides of us target practicing. Keeping this short: no law against it outside city limits -- yet worry lots about potential of kids and pets to take nature walks too close. And my work at home is affected. And reminds of all the lack of gun laws. One precious precious young person was shot and killed not far away. His funeral soon.
The other of yours--cancer and near death. I had two very close friends both beloved have at same time. I read many many near death experiences and decided to pray regularly and send special items and letters to them very often. Doing that got us even closer and was meaningful to both. Changed me too a lot. Really miss them both. One no longer on this reality plane. The other as far as I know survived. I decided to free him from such constant attention after awhile but was even richer -- but your piece here reminds me to get back in touch. I also hope to get back with you on a few more things. And to others who comment here. Deep gratitudes!
Dec 7, 2023·edited Dec 7, 2023Liked by Tim Denning
I had a "suffocation" event last week. A strong uncontrollable hyper-ventilation. After that, I realised it was my inner capacity to handle pressure and pain that was stretching (quite the same way as our bones are stretching when we are child to fit in all our growing organs).
Your raw honesty about life's harsh realities is refreshing. It's a powerful reminder to embrace our struggles and use them as fuel for growth. Keep sharing your insights!
I really liked an answer I recently read from a well-known Orthodox Christian priest (Fr. Savatie Baștovoi) from the Republic of Moldova.
An interesting perspective (expressed abruptly but honestly) that emphasizes that the authenticity of our life and work is the only thing that will differentiate us from artificial intelligence regardless of the level of development it will reach.
"Who's Afraid of Artificial Intelligence? As always, fools.
Hollywood actors are on strike because AI is putting them out of work, taking over their faces and voices and imitating them better than they do themselves. I don't know which association that defends the rights of writers is outraged because AI reads the books of contemporary writers and then writes similar books at the risk of writing them even better.
But all this proves what we have known for a long time: all the teachings of this world are vanity. Everything can be learned, and anyone can become a doctor, writer, actor or musician. The bear can learn to ride a bicycle.
Only one thing remains to define us: the authenticity of our living.
The extent to which the uniqueness of our person is fulfilled through the depth of our experiences is what gives meaning and value to our artistic, scholarly or spiritual expressions. All other forms of accumulating and expressing messages from ourselves to others can be learned. The school is based on this, the school that takes you from kindergarten and takes you to the other side: Doctor in Theology, Doctor in Philology; or the school of imitation and embarrassing epigonism of our time that makes you a writer, a painter, or a psychologist.
For all these mediocre imitators who fill the world with their bullshit, impoverishing children and youth with their utterly useless school programs, Artificial Intelligence is the end.
It is done with the school, the authors of cheap novels, and the festivals with cookies and olives for writers.
The computer writes, composes music, draws, calculates, and operates better.
Oh boy so it’s in your neighborhood? Not online? Ugh that’s rough my man... option to move away? If not take the low route, apologize and try n reason with them? Maybe send some cake and make peace and explain your kids struggle with X if the can’t sleep....
Yep. Just next to my house. No option to move away yet. Tried to make peace with them. They're of the view that because they are a well-known not-for-profit, they should be able to do whatever they want. Ohhh and they should also get everything for free.
I don’t wan to “like” this reply... so sad man... i know this is a far stretch, but I moved my family to Indonesia, Bali... people are so kind and are just much more chill than us westerners... if you ever consider visiting, I’d be happy to show u around! Co-dad anyways, we gotta stick together!
Feeling like you can't breathe is a sign of severe panic. The nervous system in overdrive. I used to suffer from severe anxiety so I know. A scary feeling. That is why I hope to help as many others as possible who struggle with anxiety. Glad you are OK.
Understand. The mind-body are inextricably linked so worrying, anxious thinking will most certainly lead to physical symptoms due to the nervous system becoming dysregulated.
I know as I used to experience so many different anxiety symptoms.
I sent an email to tim@timdenning.com. It's about the course you are offering. Did you receive it or do you have someone who attends to your emails? Please let me know.
Tim, thank you for putting into words some of my personal thoughts.
Knowing that people are inherently selfish is not only freeing because you learn that you have to fight for your thoughts but also:
- you learn to set lower expectations of others to avoid disappointment
- you can even learn from them that it's okay to save a little selfishness for yourself.
Virtual signaling makes me sick to the stomach.
Spot on Michelle. Incentives drive the world. Know that, and everything makes sense.
Thank you Tim. I wish you endless strength, mental fortitude, good health, and God's guidance to help you win the case against your noisy neighbours.
Much love!
“You’ll experience people looking like they do good rather than doing good.”
Such a good quote.
Re the topic of most people offering vague help to avoid help:
I truly believe most people that actually know you to some degree truly would be happy to help. They just don’t know how to help. It is a skillset that many could learn to develop.
Love your contrarian take Jeffrey. Perhaps you are right.
I’ve found once you make yourself the source of all problems and the bottleneck to their resolution, life gets a whole lot easier. It gives you back control. - GOLD!
I've found the same Anne.
"Money is everywhere" and "being specific" are my takeaways from this story.
Great takeaways to have Denis.
How's the Bitcoin price? :)
Going through the roof, Tim!
Hell yeah!
Great piece! Unfiltered... This is why I follow you... NO BS or sugarcoating. Lots of great points. Hope you're feeling alright?
Thank you Nadia. Comments like yours keep me going. I'm a big boy and won't let one adversity knock me down. This is how strength is built, but it must be under pressure.
The near death experience explains why people who take mushrooms or LCD or Salvia get rid of their addiction. They get to see the "real life." Intense pain can also achieve this. I went through a depression in 2019 and came out a different person. I simply didn't give a shit about others opinions because I saw how short life is.
How does LCD and mushrooms help them to see the real life Ali?
Don't they just hallucinate?
Shit, if I take ayahuasca and live for 30 years in an alternate life and come back to realize I've been hallucinating for 5 minutes I would question the bases of reality. I would be open to the possibility that there's more to life than what's visible to the naked eye.
What a wild reply Ali! Don't even know what to say.
"All we see is a dream within a dream." - Edgar Allen Poe
Great quote
I absolutely hate the flag profile picture switch. Call me an ass but I’ve asked friends and family why they do that and most of them said it’s because “it’s what everyone else is doing.”
Insane.
Thanks for another great read. Hope you’re doing well. Stay sane and healthy, we need you around.
Makes no sense. Putting a flag on your profile does no good for anyone. It turns a real issue into a circus.
The Psychology of Money is such a good book. Got serious about money during the pandemic. There was nothing left to do. Young me had no idea what investing was. All i was taught to do was to save and get a good job but, I started thinking this can't be the only way to get wealthy.
“When you are dead, you do not know you are dead”. This was so powerful because, it's not something your going to be aware. It actually makes me think like where are we right now and why are we here. It can get very technical when you sit down and just think about life.
Saving money and doing it with a job is how you lose. The system is designed to make that path to wealth very limited. Until people understand how currency loses value and is taxed by inflation, they'll continuing getting paid in this currency and having the chance at wealth taken away from them.
It's crazy to think about it like that. Most of everything that was designed hurts the average person because there not aware of how bad their situation is.
True Samuel
Sincerely wish you all the best with the legal stuff, mate. And with the "community" organisation. Such fckwits around, it's amazing sometimes. Have appreciated the stoic wisdom to expect them, but still sucks when the pain is right at your doorstep. Hope it resolves.
Cheers Dev. The empathy means a lot. Any tips on how to deal with these so-called white knights that claim to only do good?
Hey Tim, sorry for the slow reply. My dad's been in a somewhat serious surgery and is still in ICU. He's doing well but it's been a long and very tiring 24 hours. The reason I say that in the context of your question is because - as you know better than most - attention and time is so finite and in certain circumstances perspective is a helluva medicine.
I believe that there are some games you can only not lose by opting out of playing, and trying to 'deal with' such white knights might be one of those games. As I said though, I appreciate it doesn't help if they're literally in your face and aggravating you - you can't just keep turning a blind eye or the other cheek. And you shouldn't have to physically move because of someone else's awfulness.
Whilst I can give you tips for your situation from the very little I understand of it, you probably already know them and I wouldn't be surprised if you've implemented them - like install security cameras with audio around your place, keep an incident journal for a while, consider using your platforms to name-and-shame (depending on legal advice and safety considerations) etc.
I can offer some spiritual and psychological tips though. I apologise in advance if any of this sounds condescending or patronising. Definitely not my intent.
- Remember (hell, meditate on even!) that almost everyone you meet is a sum of their inherited belief system and architecture + social conditioning + cognitive capability to hold diverse and divergent concepts simultaneously. When someone cuts you off in traffic, you can choose to believe they're insensitive bastards, or you can choose to believe that you can't be sure and maybe they had some personal emergency or just made an ignorant mistake. This can happen at scale. So if you come across narrow-minded mono-thinkers that happen to believe things that piss you off and behave accordingly, one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself is splash some cool compassion in your face and try to move on with your day as quickly as possible, rather than trying to make sense of the fuck-wittery. If you want to do this on hard-mode, trying loving-kindness meditation. If that's not your jam, then gamify winning against them by seeing how little of a damn you can give day by day.
- Think about how you want your daughter to grow up and respond to so-called white knights that claim to only do good? How affected do you want her to be by such people? How much responsibility do you want her to take on for dealing with such people? How aggressive or compassionate do you want her to be? Etc. etc. You're already one of her main role-models, man. Start modelling.
- Find or create bigger problems. I obviously know - through your public profiles and webinar (which I finally did catch a replay of!) - that you're a successful dude and can imagine you have reasonable ambitions that go beyond dealing with annoying, stupid people. But maybe it's not enough. You might need bigger problems to put things into perspective, and hopefully not be waiting for a loved one to be in hospital in a serious or uncertain condition. The bigger problem(s) could simply be a relatively bigger personal, community or humanity level problem you want to contribute to solving that motivates you enough to be able to move on from any urge to deal with white knights quickly and get back to your more important mission. I find it helps foster a deep, genuine psychological mindset of, "Damn this is so annoying but I ain't got time for this shit."
I don't know if any of that helps at all man. A short while ago I wrote this article on my Substack called "Celebrating gratitude" and sometimes I have this self-doubt that it's insincere because I wrote it at a time when I wasn't facing as difficult circumstances as I have or could. But I guess that's the challenge some of us take on of trying to set a stronger baseline of resilience so we have more choice in what we can deal with and consistently choose to deal with things that we deem more important, and from a positive and optimistic place.
In any case, really wish you and the family all the best with it.
Hope your father gets better Dev. And thanks for the deep wisdom.
Two aspects where I can relate --a little at least: our noise mostly affects me but worrisome-- two people on various sides of us target practicing. Keeping this short: no law against it outside city limits -- yet worry lots about potential of kids and pets to take nature walks too close. And my work at home is affected. And reminds of all the lack of gun laws. One precious precious young person was shot and killed not far away. His funeral soon.
The other of yours--cancer and near death. I had two very close friends both beloved have at same time. I read many many near death experiences and decided to pray regularly and send special items and letters to them very often. Doing that got us even closer and was meaningful to both. Changed me too a lot. Really miss them both. One no longer on this reality plane. The other as far as I know survived. I decided to free him from such constant attention after awhile but was even richer -- but your piece here reminds me to get back in touch. I also hope to get back with you on a few more things. And to others who comment here. Deep gratitudes!
I can only imagine how hard it is to live around guns. What's the solution to guns in the US?
Glad you can relate on the other points.
I enjoyed that very much, made me think
That's my main goal. Too many people write to have readers agree with them.
I had a "suffocation" event last week. A strong uncontrollable hyper-ventilation. After that, I realised it was my inner capacity to handle pressure and pain that was stretching (quite the same way as our bones are stretching when we are child to fit in all our growing organs).
I wrote a piece on Substack about it after the experience : https://becomingo.substack.com/p/pain-is-the-key-to-consciousness
You probably went through an emotional / spiritual upgrade through this stress. Congrats!
I hope so Thomas. I'll check out your piece.
Your raw honesty about life's harsh realities is refreshing. It's a powerful reminder to embrace our struggles and use them as fuel for growth. Keep sharing your insights!
Robert from Beyond AI
Cheers Robert.
Question: do we have to fear AI?
Thank you for the question!
I really liked an answer I recently read from a well-known Orthodox Christian priest (Fr. Savatie Baștovoi) from the Republic of Moldova.
An interesting perspective (expressed abruptly but honestly) that emphasizes that the authenticity of our life and work is the only thing that will differentiate us from artificial intelligence regardless of the level of development it will reach.
"Who's Afraid of Artificial Intelligence? As always, fools.
Hollywood actors are on strike because AI is putting them out of work, taking over their faces and voices and imitating them better than they do themselves. I don't know which association that defends the rights of writers is outraged because AI reads the books of contemporary writers and then writes similar books at the risk of writing them even better.
But all this proves what we have known for a long time: all the teachings of this world are vanity. Everything can be learned, and anyone can become a doctor, writer, actor or musician. The bear can learn to ride a bicycle.
Only one thing remains to define us: the authenticity of our living.
The extent to which the uniqueness of our person is fulfilled through the depth of our experiences is what gives meaning and value to our artistic, scholarly or spiritual expressions. All other forms of accumulating and expressing messages from ourselves to others can be learned. The school is based on this, the school that takes you from kindergarten and takes you to the other side: Doctor in Theology, Doctor in Philology; or the school of imitation and embarrassing epigonism of our time that makes you a writer, a painter, or a psychologist.
For all these mediocre imitators who fill the world with their bullshit, impoverishing children and youth with their utterly useless school programs, Artificial Intelligence is the end.
It is done with the school, the authors of cheap novels, and the festivals with cookies and olives for writers.
The computer writes, composes music, draws, calculates, and operates better.
Let's see who is left.
Pray, the end is near!"
First: I don’t think it took you only 15 minutes to write this 😜
Second: who did you criticize? What happened??
Dom perhaps you are right haha.
I criticized a community group that everyone knows because they made so much noise that children under 5 are now wearing ear muffs to bed.
How does one deal with a problem like this Dom?
Oh boy so it’s in your neighborhood? Not online? Ugh that’s rough my man... option to move away? If not take the low route, apologize and try n reason with them? Maybe send some cake and make peace and explain your kids struggle with X if the can’t sleep....
Yep. Just next to my house. No option to move away yet. Tried to make peace with them. They're of the view that because they are a well-known not-for-profit, they should be able to do whatever they want. Ohhh and they should also get everything for free.
I don’t wan to “like” this reply... so sad man... i know this is a far stretch, but I moved my family to Indonesia, Bali... people are so kind and are just much more chill than us westerners... if you ever consider visiting, I’d be happy to show u around! Co-dad anyways, we gotta stick together!
Feeling like you can't breathe is a sign of severe panic. The nervous system in overdrive. I used to suffer from severe anxiety so I know. A scary feeling. That is why I hope to help as many others as possible who struggle with anxiety. Glad you are OK.
That's what I thought Elana. I'm not the sort of guy to start trouble with people, especially legal trouble. But I had no choice, hence the stress.
Understand. The mind-body are inextricably linked so worrying, anxious thinking will most certainly lead to physical symptoms due to the nervous system becoming dysregulated.
I know as I used to experience so many different anxiety symptoms.
I sent an email to tim@timdenning.com. It's about the course you are offering. Did you receive it or do you have someone who attends to your emails? Please let me know.
Didn't get your email I don't think Elana.
Have you received it?
What email must I use?
I messaged you.