For most of my adult life, all seemed well on the surface because I was able to morph into whatever character was required for any situation.
Always smiling and affable in company, but narcissistic and manipulative behind closed doors.
In truth I was managing multiple addictions and exhausted from the constant lies I told to everyone…
My then wife left me (of course she did, I was a prick) and the inevitable mental breakdown and financial ruin followed, but it wasn't my fault… oh no! It was everyone and anyone but me…🙄
It took another 2 years and almost ruining my current relationship for me to stop lying to myself and admit that I was the problem.
I needed to change, and I needed help.
I'd always believed I had to find this perfect woman that I wanted spend the rest of my life with; what I got was not only that (imho) but also someone that allowed me to become the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with ❤️
My apologies for unloading, but its the first time I've ever written that down, even 5 years down the line.
Changing hasn't been easy, it's taken a lot of work but the peace it has brought me is priceless.
If anyone takes the time to read this comment, I thank you.
You're 100% correct. I'm still not perfect but I work on myself every day to try to be a better version of myself. I feel much happier now I my authentic self and don't care what other people think.
Life got much easier when I stopped lying to myself
And I haven't drunk, used drugs or gambled in over 3 years. That isn't a boast, its a message to anyone reads this that if I can do it then anyone can.
Loved all of these.... great Map of Consciousness (will borrow, with appropriate credit).... My favorite is: "You are only as young as the last time you changed your mind." In my book of 26 practices, "O is for Openness" is perhaps the most important concept in the whole book ("Soul Primer" - shameless plug here, figured you'd appreciate that). Openness makes all the doors open......
I would formulate it as " understand how human psychology applies to your work and life. Try not to be manipulative ( some will be so!) and also raise your guard against those who are! (stay away from them ?) " Items 8-10 ( or 9-11 ?) are somewhat more complicated and I do not quite agree with your emphasis on "obsession" . Why not take a little more carefree approach to life ?!?
This is an awesome post Tim. I love it. You become what you think about all day long and being human is torture by design hit home for me. Do you really believe there exists higher level of consciousness? What does that look like? Is it more spiritual in nature? Can you achieve this elevated state of thinking and consciousness through reading or how to you get there? I'm curious. Thanks
I love rule number 14. Started doing that while I was in Caledon. It is odd how the mind functions, but I have not always been that way. I'm so done with being in survival mode.
Two years ago, I returned to school to earn my psychology credentials. While I have a lot left to learn, it's gifted so many truths that I now have a completely different perspective about the human experience. We all suffer, and we all seek its cessation.
Number 2 particularly resonated with me.
For most of my adult life, all seemed well on the surface because I was able to morph into whatever character was required for any situation.
Always smiling and affable in company, but narcissistic and manipulative behind closed doors.
In truth I was managing multiple addictions and exhausted from the constant lies I told to everyone…
My then wife left me (of course she did, I was a prick) and the inevitable mental breakdown and financial ruin followed, but it wasn't my fault… oh no! It was everyone and anyone but me…🙄
It took another 2 years and almost ruining my current relationship for me to stop lying to myself and admit that I was the problem.
I needed to change, and I needed help.
I'd always believed I had to find this perfect woman that I wanted spend the rest of my life with; what I got was not only that (imho) but also someone that allowed me to become the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with ❤️
My apologies for unloading, but its the first time I've ever written that down, even 5 years down the line.
Changing hasn't been easy, it's taken a lot of work but the peace it has brought me is priceless.
If anyone takes the time to read this comment, I thank you.
Its been very liberating!
Number 2 resonate with me too. It's the start of a whole life change. We can't change the world, but we can alter ourselves.
Thank you for your big reveal, glad your life is peaceful now. You're an inspiration.
Once you stop playing the blame game and accept total responsibility for yourself, things pick up like a Tsunami of change. Well done you!
Your reply was insightful and you've come full circle. Congratulations.
You're 100% correct. I'm still not perfect but I work on myself every day to try to be a better version of myself. I feel much happier now I my authentic self and don't care what other people think.
Life got much easier when I stopped lying to myself
And I haven't drunk, used drugs or gambled in over 3 years. That isn't a boast, its a message to anyone reads this that if I can do it then anyone can.
Awesome article! Where did you find the consciousness map?
It is akin to Scientology Emotional Tone Scale, from "Science of Survival", but updated from 1950.
It was so fascinating, I looked at it for 20 minutes, that map was awesome. Agreed.
Loved all of these.... great Map of Consciousness (will borrow, with appropriate credit).... My favorite is: "You are only as young as the last time you changed your mind." In my book of 26 practices, "O is for Openness" is perhaps the most important concept in the whole book ("Soul Primer" - shameless plug here, figured you'd appreciate that). Openness makes all the doors open......
I would formulate it as " understand how human psychology applies to your work and life. Try not to be manipulative ( some will be so!) and also raise your guard against those who are! (stay away from them ?) " Items 8-10 ( or 9-11 ?) are somewhat more complicated and I do not quite agree with your emphasis on "obsession" . Why not take a little more carefree approach to life ?!?
Very enlightening as always. Thanks Tim.
I think everyone needs to learn rule #12. Sales and persuasion skills are needed in every line of work as well as your personal life.
This is an awesome post Tim. I love it. You become what you think about all day long and being human is torture by design hit home for me. Do you really believe there exists higher level of consciousness? What does that look like? Is it more spiritual in nature? Can you achieve this elevated state of thinking and consciousness through reading or how to you get there? I'm curious. Thanks
Understanding the human nature is an excellent first step towards achieving your dream. What recent resource would you recommend?
This quote... "People, by and large, become what they think of themselves.” - William James
Reminds me of one of my favorites "People will never outperform the opinion they have of themselves" - Peter Sage
It’s a self fulfilling prophecy to stay obsessed
This is worth gold!
No.13 highly resonated with me. I thought affirmations and all this stuff is woo-woo but reading "Psychocybernetics" changed by viewpoint.
Your self-image shapes your life.
Rule #13 is my most favourite. The whole writeup itself is a great document about human psychology. Thank you Tim for these highly valuable insights.
I love rule number 14. Started doing that while I was in Caledon. It is odd how the mind functions, but I have not always been that way. I'm so done with being in survival mode.
Hope your surgery went okay Tim! Thanks for your posts. I enjoy them!
Two years ago, I returned to school to earn my psychology credentials. While I have a lot left to learn, it's gifted so many truths that I now have a completely different perspective about the human experience. We all suffer, and we all seek its cessation.
I loved this post. Great information!!
It's Rule #6 for me today! Thank you for this and all your writing, tbh.